Who I am {Phil Lester}

chapter 9.

INDIE'S POV;

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." ~ Oscar Wilde

I stumbled into the cold, lifeless bathroom and quickly filled the glass cup up with crystal clear liquid. I popped two of the tiny tablets out and shoved them to the back of my tongue, forcefully washing them down with a huge gulp of water. My arms itched for the shiny metal that Kyle leaves hidden under the sink. I ignored the pleading and carried on into my bedroom. I've been doing so well, I wasn't going to let a stupid argument make it all come crashing down.

I steadied my hands on the edge of the pristine white sink, glaring into to mirror. In it, I saw a broken girl who had purple black bags under her tearstained bright red eyes. Plain hair hung messily in little curls down the sides of her ill pale face. This wasn't the girl I'm used to meeting in a mirror. This is a completely different one. This isn't me.

I walked back out of the bathroom, slightly dazed and lightheaded. The gloom and rain hung dead over the front room. The apartment was lonely; Kyle was asleep, tucked under his plain simple duvet, and Kim was back at her flat for a change.

Nothing seemed to move. Everything stood still. There was no sound, apart from the distant patter of droplets bashing against the fragile glass windows. The clock's tick faded away by each second. The rain's spluttering was now ringing in my ears. My eyelids refused to close, but my eyes wanted to stay shut forever. I was fixed staring into nothing, my gaze never wanting to move.

Quickly, I snapped out of my trance as two frantic bangs on the front door awakened me, the clock's tick and the rain making themselves prominent again.

I padded over to the front door, my eyes and head heavy. I checked myself in the oval mirror, adjusting my hair and rubbing off leftover makeup with the palms of my hands.

The door creaked opening revealing a pair of gleaming, ocean blue eyes.

"Phil!" I exclaimed, a genuine smile creeping across my dry, chapped lips.

"Hey Indie, hope you aren't too busy. I was just passing by, and I thought I might pop in and say hi," he grinned.

"It's fine, honestly! I've been stuck in the house all day and I need a bit of company," I said, gesturing him inside.

He strode past me, his gorgeous scent dancing its way around me and his electric touch brushing against the top of my arm forming goosebumps.

I edged the door closed and followed him through into the living room. The gloom and rain suddenly became not much of a notice to me.

"Can I get you anything?" I asked.

He flopped down onto the sofa.

"No, thank you."

"Okay then. So how's Dan?" I asked casually, perching on the armchair opposite him.

"He's good, I think. What about Kim?" he asked, his eyes glistening towards mine.

"Still angry and drunk," I replied, twisting my fingers about. I still felt awful about when Phil and her had first met at the coffee shop.

As if he was reading my mind, Phil leaned forward and said, "Seriously, Indie, don't feel bad. It wasn't your fault," his voice filled with sympathy.

"I don't know about her anymore," I replied, sighing quietly.

He flashed a sympathetic smile at me before patting the seat next to him, gesturing me over. I shot up and made my way over to where he was sitting and slumped down next to him, resting my head on his shoulder.