Cold Hearted

The Talk

*Slight Warning: This chapter contains literally "the talk", like the sex talk along with a brief mentioning of rape, so read with caution :)*

Harry POV

We got back from that slightly nerve-racking fitting a few hours ago now. Since then Elena got me a snack from the bakery which I childishly enjoyed very much before she went around to do some light chores around the village, mainly picking some things up for the ball. I simply followed her around contently the whole time like a lost puppy, but I didn't mind.

We then headed back to the castle for a little break of sorts where Elena and I simply started watching a movie together in her room which was a lovely way to completely come back down from my moment earlier about the whole fitting. I swear... when I saw where that designer wanted to measure me I about jumped out of my skin.

So yeah... of course I freaked out... even now I was scared that something was gonna happen, but that fear was very quickly extinguished by Elena who didn't force me to do anything I didn't like... but there was something bothering me.

I don't think she knows why I don't like certain things, of course she knows I was abused but I don't think she gets... how. And I think that conversation would take some time.... time for her to understand and me to even get through without having a full-on panic attack. But what she did for me in the fitting really really helped and built even more trust that I have with her. I just know that one day, I'm gonna have to tell her... and as hard as that's gonna be I know it has to happen.

I'm already thinking about which pieces I'll have to break down, I don't think she.... she knows how sex works, so that would be the first thing to explain which I technically shouldn't have to but if I don't do it who will? There's that, then I'm gonna have to explain to her how I was drugged before anything... sexual abuse wise would happen, then there's the whole how rape and actual sex is different, so yeah... I'm mentally preparing for her to ask me about that any day now.

And I'm preparing myself for it now because I don't want ta leave her in the dark about anything, it's not fair to her especially if she asks me first. She's been kept in the dark all her life, so I try to keep her in the know as much as I can so she doesn't feel stupid for not knowing certain things.

Gods, I remember one time where Audrey was openly talking about... well having sex actually which is... a little strange to be talking about it so loudly in the middle of lunch hour but alright. Anyway, she was going on and on about this guy or whatever I don't care, and since me and Elena were sitting with her little Core Four friends that day, they sat kinda close to Audrey. They kept trying to talk over Audrey so Elena wouldn't hear but she's said it multiple times, she has keen hearing, so she heard tons of stuff she doesn't understand. Naturally, Elena kindly asked Audrey what she was talking about, and because Audrey is a bitch she just started laughing!

Poor Ellie, she looked so confused and utterly embarrassed for not getting it! No one and I mean absolutely no one gets to make my little ray of sunshine feel belittled or stupid, so I got up and kindly excused Elena from the situation and put her with Mal and Evie before telling Audrey off unlike ever before. As in, I called her out for laughing at someone for asking a simple question, then I told her off for being inconsiderate of the fact that that could be a sensitive topic for some, then got after her for making Elena feel the way she did. In the end, I threatened her that if she did as much as talk to Elena ever again I would gut her like a fish and hang her body off the goalposts in the tourney field.... a little gruesome but she hasn't talked to Elena or I since so it did the job famously.

Now that I'm thinking about it... why didn't I tell Elena how sex actually worked right then? I've done that with everything else she's asked me about, sat her down and told her what things meant... then again that was so early on in our relationship I was probably too... too scared to say a word about the matter. Sex itself doesn't bother me that much... it's the thought of... the unwanted kind that freaks me out. I would just feel bad if I overwhelmed her by waiting for that one conversation to unload literally everything... unless...