I was sitting there with a knife in my hand
just barely holding it over my forearm
when the demon inside me took over.
The knife raised to my throat and I spoke to myself
in a tongue I had never uttered in my life.
I felt my actual soul hiding deep inside myself
not knowing how to fight, or how to get my body back.
I pushed against this demonic force overpowering me
but to no avail, it swatted me away
as if I was a mere pesky fly to it.
I felt hopeless, I felt scared, I gave up.
As I gave up the knife pushed harder on my neck
and I felt the warm blood dripping out of the incision.
The knife shot out of my arm and stuck to the wall,
the blood slowly dripping down the white paint.
I kneel on the floor, one hand covering the cut.
I have control over my body, but for how long?
I blink. When I open my eyes I see blood red...
my eyes have been sewn open instantaneously.
I see nothing. I get up and stumble around
feeling around for something familiar, anything.
I feel the handle of the knife, I feel disgusted.
Why had I even picked it up in the first place?
I turn away. My body doesn't listen to my mind.
My hand pulls out the knife against my own will
and draws an X in my forearm, the blood pours.
At this rate I will become unconscious soon.
The sharp knife is then pressed against my chest
and I feel like this just might be the end.
It slices across the front of my body
leaving a huge gash bleeding all over.
I regain control over my body now.
I drop the knife as I drop to my knees,
now kneeling in a puddle of my own blood
and slowly beginning to feel lightheaded.
I already know that this demon has won
and I feel a weird presence leave my body.
I feel joy that it has left
but still collapse to the floor.
My blood-red vision growing darker, I reach for the knife
so that I can be at peace for once.
I raise the knife to my neck.
I just can't bring myself to do it.
No. I'm not going to think now, I'll act.
I raise the knife up over my neck
and then I bring it down with all my strength
this time hoping that I'll be dead.
