I now walk this familiar path
look down at my watch, 8:30 pm.
I sit at my bench, my beloved bench
In the freezing cold and just think.
What a beautiful sight
to see this world at night
I wish this could last forever
but I know nothing lasts forever,
nothing good at least
but this fucked up life of mine,
that'll last forever.
I have to make it better
or I will not survive.
I'd probably commit suicide.
Not like anyone would care
especially not her.
God I'm so fucking stupid.
Why do I still think about her?
Why is she still on my mind?
and why is it
that everytime I see her
my heart stops beating
and my legs stop working
and my lips long to be reunited with hers.
A slap to the face shakes these thoughts away
and then putting a cigarette into my mouth
And making my light ignite, I am calm.
The warmth of the cigarette
combining with the cold of the night
makes every little thing just right.
I sit back and relax
watching the trees sway side to side
making me feel like I sway as well
but this feeling won't last
My buzz is leaving fast.
So I get up and walk away
from my beloved bench on this beautiful night
this bench, however, fills me with fright
I think too much, my mind is right.
Sometimes I feel I'm slipping away.
