Why try in school
when there is
nothing to try for?
The guards here say
to try my hardest
or they will take away
everything that I love.
But it is time now
to revolt.
It is time now
to snap,
to reality.
Because they ask
too much of me
and I can't take this
for much longer.
I quickly think
frivolously
of what I should do.
I grab my flask
and hop out the window.
I meet my friends,
we hang out for a bit.
I am not clearheaded now.
A few swigs from my flask
enhances this feeling.
I tune out
the part of my brain
that thinks sad thoughts,
that makes me insane.
And now I'm having
the time of my life.
What problems?
What emotions?
Happiness is what I feel.
I am free to do what I please.
But wait
what is this thought
popping into my head?
Oh god no.
Please no.
Not her.
Her beautiful face,
her eyes, her lips
her smile...
I take one last swig
and shake it off.
I am now content.
I walk aimlessly
with my friends
ignoring the vibrations
in my pocket.
At the end of the night
we're pissing of a balcony.
I open my eyes.
We're sprawled all over
my friend's backyard.
I stand up and rub my eyes.
My head hurts like hell
and my limbs are all sore.
So I decide it's time
to go back.
I climb up to my window
and slowly lower myself to the floor.
I get in bed and close my eyes
drifting away to my dreamland.
When I wake up I see
those two guards staring at me
and they do not seem pleased.
They shout and yell
and curse and hit
and kick and shout
"get out of here!"
I walk down the street
empty and desolate.
It is very dark
but I still make out
two lights rapidly
moving toward me.
I call her and say
I still love you.
Do you love me too?
She simply replies,
as the lights move even closer,
no I do not
and I never will.
I smile and say
my final words.
That's too bad
but it is what it is.
You won't have to deal with me anymore.
Because I'll be gone and you will stay.
The lights were upon me then.
