I'm gonna be honest,
I can't live this fucking life.
I'm not gonna lie here,
I've lost everything that makes me feel alright.
I saw you today
and all I did was walk away
but my legs weren't fucking listening
and so I hugged you, just like everyday,
then we went into friendly conversation
but all I was thinking was this:
No, insert name here, I'm not okay,
I never was and I never will be.
You left me and now you have someone better
and that's just tearing me apart.
It's not all you though.
My life is terrible for far greater reasons.
My parents are controlling pricks
and I can't handle how they treat me
because they make me angry and depressed
and they make me stay awake at night,
curled up in a ball wishing I was fucking dead.
I can't live in this house for much longer,
these walls, they're tainted with lies.
What the fuck is wrong with them?
They're the worst fucking parents ever
and if I stay here for much longer,
I feel as if I'll go insane.
Living under their rules is fucking torture,
I'd rather live on the street.
But you, you helped me so much before,
I was so fucking happy.
Just friends..? I can't fucking do it
because I can only see you in my arms.
I wanna hold you like I did so long ago.
I want to kiss you again
because whenever we kissed...
it was the greatest moment of my life.
I hate to repeat myself but you know it's true,
I would do absolutely anything for you.
I would just love to have you back.
Too bad, my mind tells me, it's fucking over.
She's happy with him, you're nothing.
You sit at home and write hopeless poems
that'll get you fucking nowhere in life
and why do you do it? You can't get over her.
Move on, you dumb shit, she's done with you,
she'll never love you again, you're a fucking disgrace.
Your self esteem is down the drain
and you're a cynical fuck.
You aren't going anywhere in life
because your mind is like a dense forest
and guess what? You're lost in it.
I know that all that shit is true
but I really try not to listen.
Maybe I am a worthless piece of shit
that writes hopeless poems to try to calm down
and they really won't get me anywhere.
So why the fuck do I write?
Beats me.
