What the fuck?
What is this, the third fucking time?
That you broke my heart into a million pieces.
Now it's unfixable,
no one can put me back together again.
I'm sick of you doing this shit
so I hope you know it's never happening again
and that's why I'm thinking twice about friendship.
I don't think I can believe you
when you've betrayed me this many fucking times
but, you know, I understand.
I get why you broke up with me.
You realized that I'm a worthless piece of shit
and that I'm a waste of your fucking time
and that my life is a complete shit hole
that you don't want to be a part of...
and now I can't sleep at night again,
the sleepless nights thinking about you will continue
and if I could help it I really would
because I'm tired of not getting over you.
I'd like to just have a gun
so that I can put it to my temple
and pull the fucking trigger,
too bad it just isn't that simple.
How to die causing the least pain possible,
that's what I'd like to know.
This life of mine is not worth living for.
I am nothing and I could never be something more than that.
My dream was to do something so fucking cool
that when I died, people would care, they would cry
because someone special had died
but that'll never happen for me
because I don't so anything cool at all.
I wanna be on a stage in a band,
it's all I've ever wanted to do
but I'm probably not good enough, too young
and when I get old enought I won't be able to
because I'll have to work every day
to try to support myself.
Why the fuck's reality such a fucking bitch?
That is why, in conclusion of course
because this is my only conclusion,
I'm sick of myself, my whole fucking existence
and I don't believe I even deserve to live
because I contribute nothing good to the world.
Actually I contribute the opposite of good
and that was the meaning to my existence
to contriute anything bad to the world
because that's the only thing I can do right.
I believe that I should be dead,
on the side of the street somewhere in a gutter
just to save the world from my existence.
So maybe one day I'll leave my folks a note
saying I ran away, so they don't worry,
and walk aimlessly for a very long time
just thinking over everything, my whole life,
then I'll decide everything's over for me
and kill myself on the spot.
Ha. What a fantasy!
The weird part is I'm completely serious
and right now I'm hoping that a miracle kills me
because I can't go on living anymore.
I've lost everything that ever meant anything to me.
