My Exception// Jack Avery [2]

CHAPTER 5 [you dont know me]

"Okay, bye then" I say before trying to shut the door but of course, it got stopped by Jacks foot. Fail. "Please" I hear him say, he sounds upset, like he needs to be let in for him to be okay. I start to feel guilty so I find myself slowly opening the door but only to reveal my face. "Just go Jack, there's nothing to say" I plead. I really need him to go, I do not have the strength to talk to him right now. "But there is Gracie" he says, "don't call me Gracie" I snap. He does not deserve to call me Gracie. His face drops and he nods slightly at my request, "okay, just, please Grace" he corrects himself. I shake my head, "why are you here Jack" I ask with anger brewing in me, "I just wanted to see how you are" he says placing a hand on the door, begging me to opening it fully, I roll my eyes and scoff, "please just let me in" he asks again. I almost feel sorry for him and that is the only I decided to open the door fully. "Fine" I mutter as I walk away from the door leaving it free for Jack to walk through in his own time, "let me go put some shorts on" I say walking into my bedroom and leaving him there alone.

As I walk into my room I go straight over to my dresser, holding myself up by leaning on the top of it. I hear my door shut softly meaning Jack in now in my apartment. My legs feel weak, my entire body feels weak. I can't do this. Why did I open the door? Why did I let him in? What was I thinking? What have I done. I look at myself in my mirror before giving myself a pep talk to calm my nerves. "You can do this Grace" I say to myself, "stay calm, you're better than this" I say before taking another deep breath. I open my drawer quickly and pull out the first pair of shorts I see before putting them on. I shakily walk over to the door and hesitantly raise my hand to the handle. I wait a few seconds and debate what will happen after I open this door and find myself in a room alone with Jack Avery after three years. I can't hide behind this door forever so I force myself to open it.

I open the door to see Jack standing there looking at the photos on my wall. He seems to be paying more attention to the new photos rather than the old ones. I choose not to say anything and leave him to it. I can't help but stare at him, he's really here. After three years, here he is standing in front of me wanting talk, but what do you say to someone who broke your heart? As though he knew I was standing there, his gaze flicks towards me and he quickly stands up right. "You wanna talk, let's talk" I decide to break the silence as I walk past him to sit on the couch. Jack slowly joins me on the couch. I can see he's very cautious with his actions, I don't think he knows what to do, but neither do I. Neither of us know how to act right now, at least I'm not the only one. Sitting across from him is making my emotions go crazy. My heart beats racing and my hands beome clammy. I grab a pillow and put it in my lap so I have something to distract me from my emotions. Why after three years does he then decide to see me? He could've easily gone along with it and act like he doesn't know me. Everything would be so much easier like that.

There's an awkward silence bwteen us and he's avoiding direct eye contact, he's definately nervous. "So" I drag the word on, trying to break the tension. He starts to fiddle with is hands, "fuck" Jack scoffs, he rasies his head to look me in the eyes for the first time since he got here and instantly my heart begins to hurt like it did three years ago. I push all my emotions away and try to stay calm. "Why are you here Jack" I finally ask for the third time since he got here, "I wanted to see if you were okay" he says, "Jack you knew I was in LA, you've been in LA for nearly a year now and you didn't say anything and now you just ask if I'm okay" I rant, he opens his mouth to speak but I refuse to let him talk. "I'm great Jack, one of my new best friends is dating my ex and it's fucking great because I can't be honest with her" I spit out.

"I never asked you to keep it a secret" he finally speaks. "What, you want her to know everything" I ask, "all the fucked up things that happened to us" I say, he shakes his head, "you didn't need to act like you didn't fucking know who I was Grace, how do you think that made me feel" he says, "Jack, you're practically a stranger to me now, it's been three years" I say the truth, "you told me you didn't want anything to do with me anymore" he shouts, Jack never used to shout at me. "I don't care Jack, you out of all people should've known I never meant that" I scream. Jacks face softens as he looks down to his feet, "you hate me" he mumbles, "yes I do" I get out, not knowing if I truly meant it. He holds his head in his hands and the feeling of guilt overtakes my body.

"I never meant for you to hate me" he says refusing to look at me, "maybe I don't hate you" I hesistate to say. His head shoots up to look at me, "what" he asks with his eyes lit up, "I don't know how I feel about you anymore Jack, a lot has changed in three years" I say, "don't you think I know that" he raises his voice, "you were the only person I let know me in the way that you did" he says getting louder, "and when you moved to LA I tried so hard not to loose you" he shouts, "you didn't try hard enough Jack" I shout at him, Jack stays quiet as though he was looking for me to explain, "you've lost me Jack, face it" I say calming down, "I lost you the second you left for LA" he mumbles, "I tried Jack, we both tried" I say to him, "and it didn't fucking work" he stands up, "all those promises, everything was for nothing Grace, I tried" he says crouching down in front of me, "please believe me I did" he says apologetically as though I needed him to say sorry. I didn't.

My heart races and I'm at lost for words. I've never been in this situation to know the right things to say. "You're with Gabbie now Jack, all of that doesn't matter" is the only thing I am able to get out my mouth, "you're right" he says looking down, "because why not just throw everything we had away, it was nothing wasn't it, it meant nothing" he stands up looking down at me, my heart begins to break but I cant let him see that. So, I fight back, "you're right, it was nothing Jack" I say looking straight ahead rather than in his eyes. Maybe not looking into his eyes showed him I didn't mean what I was saying but, he wouldn't notice that. All he cares about right is trying to make me give into him and I'm not going to do that. I have to prepare myself because with what he's going to say now is going to break my heart all over again and I can't help but let it happen.

"So, everything we went through back at home meant nothing" he says sitting back down to face me, "everything I said to you, the way I opened up to you, the way I had feelings for you, it was all a lie" he says in a spiteful tone, "and it was the same for me" I say looking down at my hands. I cant lie, those words broke me. I know everything I felt for Jack wasn't a lie, it was real. Everything I had with Jack was the only thing in my life that felt right, like it was meant to be. I can feel my heart shattering into a million pieces again. I cannot go back to Jack, I cant let him know how I'm feeling. We've broken each others hearts before and lived through it and now its happening all over again - even after three years of not even speaking to each other.

He nods slightly and his legs starts to shake a little, "so, we don't know each other" Jack says but it sounds like the words coming out of his mouth are difficult for him to say, "that's what we have to act like" I say refusing to look at his eyes. "Well, that's bullshit" Jack scratches the back of his neck, maybe he's going to crack, "why" I ask him, waiting for him to give in, "because, I fucking know you Grace, I can't act like I don't" he says trying to catch my eyes, "you don't know me Jack" I say to him, "not anymore, I've changed" I say to him, "then I'll look forward to getting to know the new Grace" he smiles, he's being cocky. "Go home to your girlfriend Jack, remember her?" I ask him, "ah yes, the girl I love" he says standing up, I can tell he's trying to get under my skin.

I walk over to my door and open it wide, "do not use Gabbie as a tool to get under my skin Jack, it's not fair on her" I say, "now leave please" I beg, "you can't tell me that after everything you actually believe this was nothing" he says, "you do, don't you?" I question as he walks over to me, "see you around Grace, I'm looking forward to getting to know you" he smirks, standing in my door way. That little shit. "See you around Jack Avery" I say as he walks backwards into the hallway, not removing his eyes off me. He winks at me before turning around and walking off. I watch him walk down the hall and turn the corner like I used to every time he'd walk me home. I close my door lightly and let out a large breath.

I couldn't give into him. I had to beat him at his own game. He said I meant nothing so I agreed. My heart hasn't hurt this much in the last three years than it has now. Maybe if Jack could easily say that I meant nothing to him meant that it was true. Maybe I did love him, but that doesn't matter now. I'm a different person and so is he. We'll just have to get to know each other again. But this time I'll do it right, I wont get so close. Jack Avery, you once was my everything. Now you're just a stranger that means nothing. I can't say I'm looking forward to knowing you, but I don't think I have a choice. I have a feeling you're going to be around quite a bit from now on. Thanks Gabbie, I'm sorry.