small world

chapter 34

HARRY

I watched as the car grew smaller and smaller as it sped away into the busy night. I squinted my eyes, struggling to focus until I couldn’t see it any longer, like a balloon let off into the seemingly infinite sky. I looked around me, the cars buzzing by in blurs, the people swarming around the club with smiles on their faces and loved ones on their arms. I wondered for a moment if anyone else standing there felt even a fraction of how broken I felt at this moment. My cheek stung from the impact of Charlie’s trembling hand, but the true pain was in the bellows of my heart. Everything had been perfect; my heart just hours before at what felt like its full capacity absorbed with the love of Charlie Parker had now felt like a needle popped it abruptly, the love and the memories spilling out forming a puddle at my feet. I didn’t know what to do with myself; the world around me continued but my body remained still, my feet planted firmly on the ground, my heart had lost its beat, and everything from my head to my toes felt completely and utterly numb.

Emma had this way of pulling a straight up Adele every time things were finally going along smoothly; she would turn up out of the blue uninvited and shake things up, something she was eerily good at. She radiated such an evil vibe, camouflaged greatly by the hot body and revealing clothes – she was hell in human form. I knew I couldn’t go on like this, I had to end the bullshit with Emma but I didn’t know how. I would never fully be able to understand how she could want me so badly knowing how much I resented, and even outwardly hated, her. She craved attention and the view of the public eye so greatly that she would go to incredible extents to be noticed, but she wasn’t just messing with me, now she was messing with the love of my life, and it wasn’t fair. Charlie didn’t need a half-ass boyfriend after everything she had been through; she needed a real loving faithful man, and with Emma lurking in every dark alley we passed on our journey, it was hard for me to be that man for her. And now there she went, because of Emma, leaving in a car with my best mate and his girlfriend. Why couldn’t my relationship with Charlie be as easy as theirs’… or any of the boy’s relationships? I remember one time Charlie had told me sometimes its better when things aren’t perfect, at least then we know that they’re real. And in more ways than one she was right; the struggles we went through made us stronger, the fear of her slipping through my fingers like grains of sand made me want to hold tighter to her grasp. But then again, no good came out of Emma, and it had gone too far unknown. It felt all to nostalgic watching her drive away, my heart ached as she physically grew further, only reminding me that emotionally a wedge had been forced between us as well.

I didn’t know how long I stood there until I was brought back to reality, how many cars went by, how many people stopped to stare until the feeling in my hands was brought back by a pulsating vibration. I stared my phone as it vibrated, ‘LOUIS’ lit up on the screen, the blue light glowing under my chin as I held it out in the blackness of the evening, but I couldn’t bring my thumb to accept the call. Finally the screen went black but it wasn’t long until his name reappeared, it almost screamed out to me to answer, the urgency felt through the buzzing telephone.

“Hello,” I said robotically emotionless as I put the phone to my ear.

“HARRY!” Louis’ voice cried from the other end, I could feel my eyebrows knotting in confusion as I struggled to hear him as he spoke. His words were muffled, worried, and the sound of sirens blared through the busy streets. I was captivated by the flashes of blue and red lights, the speeding vehicles rushing down the road had almost made me forget about the distraught friend of mine on the other end of the phone. I held my hand over my other ear, pressing my middle finger to it, blocking the sounds to focus on his words, but wherever he was the shrieking noise seemed to have followed.

“Louis, what was that? I couldn’t hear you,” I yelled into the phone, a series of sniffles on the other end. I ran my hand through my hair worried as to what could be wrong.