small world

chapter 29

HARRY

I was mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted, and yet I was wide awake. I stared up at the ceiling; the room glowing with orange light that seeped through the sheer white curtains. My beautiful, finally calm and sleeping girlfriend was beside me but for some reason somebody else was on my mind. Almost like clockwork, the ceiling lit up with the familiar blue glow of my cellphones screen. I was careful not to wake Charlie as I extended my arm to the bedside table to retrieve my mobile. As if the universe was reading into my thoughts, the name that danced around in my mind flashed across the screen in big bold letters underneath and envelope: Emma.

My thumb hesitated, hovering over her name before pressing down to reveal the message.

“H, I know u didnt want 2 hear from me again, but I cant stop thinking about u babe. last night u were sure that u and Charlie are over, just look how happy we are Harry… ;)” with the message was an attachment.

I clicked it and waited for it to download, watching the percentage bar grow before finally an image that would haunt me filled the screen. There I was sat in a club with Emma on my lap, our lips pressed together and our arms wrapped around each other. To a stranger you would think this was a happy couple having a fun night out, but to me, yet again, this was simply my worst nightmare.

The picture was like a car crash; I wanted to look away but I just couldn’t rip my eyes off of it. Maybe people wouldn’t think that it was me… maybe if the picture ever got out people wouldn’t think anything of it. But as much as I hoped that would be the case, there was nothing but proof of my signature locks, paper airplane necklace and finally my infamous tattoo that I shared with Charlie that was certain to draw attention and confirm that the monster in this picture is in fact me.

The light of the screen dimmed as I had been closely inspecting it for so long. I wanted to delete the picture, forget about the night, and more than anything forget about Emma but she wasn’t going to make it that easy. I double tapped reply and my thumbs flew across the keyboard, desperate to end this.

“Emma, meet me tomorrow for coffee @ Starbucks, we need to talk.”

 I switched my phone to silent and set it down on the bedside table, screen down. I rolled over and wrapped my bare arms around Charlie, taking in her familiar scent of coconut shampoo and something completely unique to her that was so addictive. I held her close and shut my eyes, my mind still wandering about Emma. I could never fully understand why Emma is the way she is. She goes through such trouble and knows my drunken actions aren’t genuine, but she thrives off of them. I just hoped that we could end this disaster tomorrow, because if Emma wouldn’t leave me alone, Charlie would be the one leaving me, forever.

 CHARLIE

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

The sound of my alarm blaring through the room and bouncing off the walls had me shooting up in bed, but Harry laid beside me motionless, completely unbothered by the noise. I turned the alarm off and looked over at him, smiling peacefully in his sleep, his chest rising and falling in time with mine. His curls sprawled out messily atop his head, spilling into his sleeping eyes and his arms looked empty without me inside of them. I could have sat here and taken in every little detail of his being but I had my final exam before Christmas break to take today, and after yesterdays whirlwind it was the last thing I had felt like doing.

Since Harry and I had started dating we had never fought the way we did last night, and part of the reason I’m sure was because all my feelings had been bottled up inside for the last two months, bursting at the seams longing to be unleashed. Fighting with Harry made me feel so empty, the thought of losing him dangled over my head, and losing him would be like losing a part of myself; my favorite part of me. Harry had this way of being so perfect even when I was mad at him that made me struggle not to fall deeply into his sea green eyes with every word he spoke. It was so easy to melt into his mold when his arms were around me but I fought back, because those last two months had made me realize that he wasn’t the man I had fallen in love with, and I deserved better than the person he had become. But even when I pounded on his chest and pushed him away, I knew that even if I wanted to I wasn’t strong enough to leave Harry. He was the devil in all he’d done but he spoke with such angel eyes, I couldn’t help but just find myself captured by him; I gravitated to him as if he was the moon pulling on me. He was all that I had and ultimately all that I needed, but now more than ever he needed me more than I needed him. It was almost as if we needed to fall apart a little bit to realize how much we need to stay together. I just hoped Harry really meant everything he said last night, because I was too fragile to be lied to.