small world

chapter 42

 CHARLIE

Being with Harry – and I mean really being with him, no tours or screaming fans or CD signings or any of that, just cuddled up in bed or on the sofa, my head in the curve of his shoulder and his tattooed arms wrapped around me – was like watching a great movie. From start to finish you’re transported into another world where nothing or nobody else exists, you’re in that moment and its perfect, slipped from your life to experience someone else’s. You may laugh or cry but throughout you love it and you’re totally present, captivated through its entirety. But all movies at some point end, and when you’re overcome by its brilliance and the screen fades to black there is often a feeling of disappointment washing over you; a sadness fueled by the realization that the journey has ceased and you have to move on with your life and leave those characters and their stories behind. That emptiness and sense of ‘well, what do I do now?’ was exactly how I felt this morning – the screen of Harry’s phone lit up and suddenly I saw the curtains close and the credits began to roll.

It was a Monday, but everyday during break felt like an endless Sunday morning. We’d spent the last week off doing exactly this, absorbing each other. The ten of us got Chinese take out and sat around the living room in our pyjamas telling stories and laughing and living easily. And every morning was like the Sandals vacation commercials where the couples wake up on a fluffy white bed in the middle of the beach, except we were in a flat in cold little London. This morning started just like that, and then hit a downward spiral.

The sun was streaming in the window reflecting brightly from the crisp white snow that blanketed London as our slumber was interrupted by the hum of a buzz, Harry’s iPhone sliding shakily across the bedside table on my side. He leant over me, his bare body pressed against mine as he fished blindly for the phone. I peeked at him through my tired eyes and saw his own closed, but his brows furrowed in struggle – he was so cute. Grabbing it triumphantly, he lifted his body from mine and sat up in bed, I did the same crawling to his side and cuddling into him as both our sleepy eyes focused on the blue glow of the screen, in bold block letters ‘MANAGEMENT’ came into focus, flashing across the screen. Harry released a deep sighed breath as he pressed the green button and I lightly shut my eyes.

“Hello?” his husky voice filled the silence as I focused on the purr coming from the receiver.  The voice on the other end sounded statically exciting, spitting out numbers and dates but the rest I couldn’t make out.

“Sounds great, looking forward to it,” Harry said ending the phone call, his eyes landing on my own as I waited expectantly.

“Well, that was management…” his voice trailed and I smirked up at him, “oh, really?” he laughed lightly before continuing “the numbers for the tour came in, it was a huge success and they want us to go out on tour again,” his eyes sparkled as he spoke but there was a faint, distant dull that dimmed the usually magnificent stars.

“Really? That’s wonderful! Where?”

“America,” he said quietly and my eyes widened with excitement but also desolation.

“What?” I gasp-spat.

“Yeah, wild right? I still can’t even… we’re opening up for some American band but they say it will be great promotion, their fans will become our fans and we’ll be… huge.”

“Huge… in America?” a dumbfounded laugh escaped my lips, “I can’t believe it… you - you guys are going to conquer America?!” I jumped up from my spot on the bed taking his hands and he was on his feet, jumping around the king sized mattress like two children waking their parents on Christmas morning except he in his white Calvin’s and me in absentminded matching Victoria’s. He threw his head back laughing, a cupcake kindergarten grin spread across his face as he grabbed me by my waist and lifted my body to his. I fell into the motion fluidly, snaking my arms around his neck as he dropped to the bed, a leg straddled on either side of his I planted a celebratory kiss on the surface of his blusher pink lips. I found my hands grabbing fistfuls of his moppy curls and felt him tremble beneath me. I pulled away and bit my lip; smiling stupidly down at him when suddenly I felt my face pale.