A Boyfriend Like Him

On The Prowl

The thought process yesterday:

Brain: yay, we're nearly at two million views!

Me: oh cool, how about we finish this chapter.

Brain: but it might hit two million and we'll miss it.

Me: it goes up by 500 every half hour or so. It'll be okay, let's just do this chapter.

Brain: can I have some chocolate?

Me: sure, after we'll get the chapter done.

Brain: mmmm chocolate.

Me: mmmm chapter

*starts writing*

Brain: When was Taylor Swift born? Let's find her wiki page.

Me: ...but the chapter.

Brain: omg! You can see the entire planet on google maps.

Me: yeah, I know. But you can't see the next chapter. Let's go.

Brain: oh look! The views went up! Almost two million.

Me: you know you'll get to two million faster if you get this chapter done and post it...

Brain: mm. Better not risk it. Let's just wait.

Me: work finishes in an hour and a half.

Brain: Yeah I know, no point starting now.

I hate my brain.

But YAY! I HIT TWO MILLION AT ABOUT 11:30pm LAST NIGHT! Thank you to everyone of you beautiful people that read my work. Special thank you to those of you who read it again and again. Lmao *kissy face*

Enjoy!

JL xoxo

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Chapter Sixty-Five

-On The Prowl-

I think Taylor began to understand what he was in for when the woman walked off the stage and let the 'do's and don'ts of karaoke' clip started. The first tip was 'Make your audience swoon' backed up by a cowboy crooning to a group of blushing ladies, with his Akubra held to his chest. The second tip was 'Don't be this guy' and it was backed up with my father on his knees singing suggestively to Mrs Simms, the old lady who ran the corner shop, before standing up and grinding on her while singing 'Burning Love' with his Elvis Pelvis moves.

"Oh," Taylor gasped in my ear from behind me. "Oh god no."

"Yup," I sighed, knowingly. "Just wait."

The third tip was 'Make full use of the stage' and was accompanied by clip of Mr Henderson, a farmer the age of my dad, doing the worm from one side of the stage to the other. The forth tip was 'Try to actually stay on the stage' and the clip had my father getting far too involved in his dancing to realise the stage ended and he disappeared quickly off the screen as he ran out of space for his moonwalk attempt.

"He didn't," Taylor whispered with a chuckle.

"He did," I assured him.

The sad thing about this all was in all these clips, my father was one hundred percent sober. He knew exactly what he was doing as he did them. His drug of choice was getting high off his daughters humiliation and applause from the adoring crowd. He was a crowd favourite, but only because none of them were related to the man.