A Boyfriend Like Him

Pretty Woman

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Chapter Twenty-Nine
-Pretty Woman-

I may have possibly, somehow, inadvertently fallen in love with Taylor 'how-fast-can-I-get-your-panties-off' Cadley.

A weight sat on my chest slowly increasing the pressure for the couple hours we spent in the car. I mostly pretended to sleep to try and stifle the uncomfortable feeling I felt. This week coming was going to be haunting and glorious, all at the same time. I had him, I had what I wanted but I also had the reality of Taylor wasn't where I was on the scale of this situation. He was at 'boy, isn't this fun?' while I was at the extreme opposite end somewhere between 'elbow deep in feelings and expectations' and 'You know how royally screwed you are, right?.
Becoming aware of how I felt for Taylor was like a one way ticket to psycho-ville. Suddenly every single thing mattered. Every breath, every noise, every moment with him was filtered through my brain and I didn't know whether I wanted to attract him to me more or repulse him and get him away from me.
Moment after moment flashed in front of my eyes and I wondered frantically what it made him think of me. Was I too slutty or not slutty enough? Should I have tried to present myself better or should I have played it down more? Did he like chill girls or high maintance? I'd been around him without make up on... What is wrong with me? Should I wear my hair up more often or take it out of its bun and let it sit loose around my shoulders? I looked down my body and wondered whether it was too much or not enough for someone like Taylor.
And what about my behaviour? Did he just think I gave it up to every guy? That all you had to do was seduce me over a week and I was your play toy whenever you wanted? Did he respect me or was he just cajoling me to get me where he wanted at minimal expense?
My cheeks heated and I felt it spread down my neck as I suddenly felt like I had been played as the biggest fool.
I was a fool for doing this assignment for him. I was a bigger fool for letting him get under my skin. I was the biggest fool for falling for him.
Realising your feelings and not being able to act on them was like running down a road and suddenly a giant brick wall pops up that you run into at full speed and you have to decide whether you should get up and go for help even though you think you have a head injury that will probably kill you before you get to help or lie there and just wait for help, knowing you'll probably die before someone gets there. I was stuck.
I could continue this façade and pretend he felt the same and let myself think everything he did was real and heart felt until he finished it next week and I was left devastated, or I could pull back and put much needed distance between us and let him become confused by my sudden change of pace and be devastated anyway because I would then have to stay away from him.

"What are you thinking so intensely about, buttercup?" Taylor laughed as we entered the city limits. "You look like you're going to pop a forehead vein." I gave him a small smile and hugged my pillow that lay in my lap.
"Just school stuff," I murmured non-committedly looking out my window.
"If you say so. You've been quiet this whole time," He replied, pushing the conversation. "I didn't overwhelm you with my family this weekend?" He asked slowly and I shook my head.
"It was fine," I assured him. His family was great. He was great. It was all just so damn great I wanted to fold up into an overdramatic ball and sob about the greatness of it all.
"You sure?" He asked again and I finally looked from my window to Taylor and replied in a tone more harshly than I meant to.
"It's fine." Taylor glanced at me for a long moment, his gorgeous brown eyes full of concern before looking back to the road.
"Okay," He murmured back at me and I instantly felt like a massive bitch.

We had left his parents after lunch and it was a couple hours before dinner when we got back to campus. He pulled up outside my building and we met at the boot as he opened it and I pulled my bag out.
"Thank you for taking me," I told him, staring down that my hands. "I really did enjoy it." I looked up at him and he was giving me another concerned look. He was also trying to figure me out and probably what he had done to make my mood plummet so obviously. Too bad for him, you can't fix perfection. Taylor reached up and ran the back of his index finger down my cheek. My eyes closed and my heart ached.
"Can I come up?" Taylor asked and I opened my eyes. He was looking at me with hopeful eyes and it hurt even more.
"Don't you have work to catch up on?" I asked. "I know I do." His mouth lifted into a smirk and he looked so handsome.
"I was leaving it for when you're at work tomorrow," He laughed, and it made me smile too.
"You can come up if you want," I told him, and he frowned at me.
"You don't seem very excited," He faux pouted, mimicking my current mood.
"No," I shook my head, forcing myself to look the part. "Please, keep me company. Kathy is probably still tied up in someone's dorm room sex dungeon from last night." Taylor laughed loudly at that and it helped the smile tug genuinely at my lips.
"Come on then," Taylor shut the boot and took the overnight bag from me.

As I climbed the stairs I studied Taylor from behind, I didn't know what I was doing. Why was I letting him come to my room with me? Why was I allowing myself to put myself further in harm's way?
"You know what?" I said aloud before I could stop myself. "I'm just really tired. Maybe you shouldn't come in. I'll probably only end up falling asleep on you," I frowned at Taylor, who was frowning back at me when he turned around.
"That's okay," He nodded. "I'm pretty tired too, we don't need to do anything too crazy," He smirked, his finger running over my bottom lip making electric pulses run through me. "I'll try to stop myself from making you run laps of the room."
"I just don't want to waste your time, being Sunday and all. You probably have unpacking or exercise or school work to do?" I questioned and my heart fluttered and sunk at the same time when he shook his head.
"I'm all yours, butter cup," He assured me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him.
"You don't have to pretend," I whispered and he smirked again.
"There's no pretending, Lucy," He told me with his handsome and serious eyes and my heart ached at how badly I wished his words meant what I wanted them to mean.

We entered my room and Kathy's side looked as we left it, telling me she had been gone all weekend. Probably came back for a change of clothes at the most. I let Taylor dump my bag in front of my closet and watched him sit on my bed.
"Do you want to watch a movie?" He asked as I stood by the door, probably looking as uncomfortable as I felt.
"Um, yeah. Sure," I nodded and he gave me an amused look.
"Do I have a disease I should know about?" He asked and I frowned.
"What?"
"Well, it's just that you haven't moved from the spot you're standing in and it's your room, so just wondering why I suddenly seem to be making you extremely uncomfortable?" He watched me expectantly and I would have groaned extremely loudly and unlady like, had I been alone. Could I be any more obvious?
"It's fine," I took a small step towards him and then another. "You want to choose what we watch?" I asked and he shook his head.
"You can."

I flick through my small but substantial collection of DVD's and wasn't actually paying attention to what I chose. I sat on the bed next to Taylor and felt every inch of myself become awkward and full of tension. I needed to stop this. I needed to get a grip and find the safest way to straddle the 'I'm in love with you' and 'I refuse to let myself be crushed by you' line. I needed distraction. I spied my manicure set and grabbed it so I could give myself something to do while watching the movie. Taylor lounges about like he was and still is god's gift to world and I curl up on a corner trying to take up as little space as possible.
"I've never seen this movie," He murmured as we watched Julia Roberts strut her stuff down the street. "What is this? Is she what I think she is?" He asked and I laughed.
"It's Pretty Woman," I rolled my eyes. "How can you not have seen Pretty Woman?" I demand as he tilted his head up and gave me a big grin.
"Oh I've seen pretty woman, I'm looking at one right now," He replies. I give him a stony look to show him how cheesy that line was and to cover for my heart that's threatening to beat right out of chest.
"You're an uncultured swine," I murmur and he laughs as his attention is directed to my feet.
"What are you doing?"
"My toenails," I reply as I swipe off the last of the remaining nail polish with an acetone soaked cotton ball. The way his eyes light up makes me uncomfortable.
"Can I help?" He asked and I frown.
"Do you want too?" I asked slowly and he gives me a silly grin.
"I'm so good at this," He assures me as I start putting on my base clear coat.
"It's actually harder than it looks."
"That's what she said."
"Mature," I murmur, rolling my eyes.