A Boyfriend Like Him

Cellulite In Leggings Heart

Chapter Forty-Three
-Cellulite In Leggings Heart-

By the time Kathy catches up to me, I'm pyjama'd, fresh faced in bed, looking over my notes from that week. Well, techniquely they are being looking at, but I'm not actually seeing them. I'm replaying Taylor throwing Declan onto the ground in my mind's eye, over and over again.
"He still likes you," Kathy stated as she walked in, closely followed by Jake, Tom and for some reason, Robbo.
"Completely whipped," Tom agreed. Robbo simply affirmed their thoughts with a cracking whip sound.
"I told you," Jake sighed.
"You," Robbo looked at me. "What was that? You're meant to resolve everything and get back together. Nothing is fixed; I'll still get balls to the face tomorrow." Tom snorted and Kathy couldn't hold back.
"Isn't that the way you like it though, Robbo?" She asked, grinning mischievously. Rolling my eyes at Kathy, I turned to Robbo and glared at him.
"In the midst of losing my shit over him unceremoniously dumping me in the middle of The Hub, a girl walked past, Taylor proceeded to tell me I suck dick better than she does, but not as well as her best friend." Tom and Jake sucked in breath between their teeth. "Today, he called me slut when I busted him in the gym showers making out with another girl," I continued, Robbo's eyes continued to widen. "I don't care how many people he jumps after they touch me, if he ever wants to fix what happened between us, it will be him that does all the work; because quite frankly, at the moment, I hate him."
"I'm still willing to let Tom beat the crap out of him, just saying," Kathy muttered from her bed.
"I'll do it," Tom nodded, and I sent him a grateful smile.
"And I'm worried about coping balls to the face," Robbo murmured to himself. I did not miss the smirk that slid onto every person's face in the room, but no one reacted.
"Taylor has gone above and beyond to make me feel like the most worthless person on the face of this planet. If it turns out he actually cares for me under all this shit, great. He still has to find a way to make me feel like I can trust him not to turn around and become the coldest, most ugly son of a bitch I've ever met again. Tonight was the beginning, not the end, Robbo," I told him and he nodded.
"Fair enough," He conceded. "He didn't really say you suck dick better though? Surely not?" Kathy and I nodded at the same time.
"I've never seen him speak to anyone that way," Kathy admitted. "It was stone cold. I was actually appalled and I say all sorts of nasty shit about people."
"It's true," Tom agreed. "she called a person a 'geriatric old fuck' that needed to learn the weight cut off for wearing leggings because she didn't want cottage cheese on her rice crackers for lunch today." Tom rubbed his eyes as he spoke, obviously embarrassed of Kathy's mouth.
"It was gross, someone had to tell her," Kathy crossed her arms in defense.
"The girl wouldn't have been any older than maybe twenty eight and she wasn't hideously overweight. She couldn't have nudged past more than 'overweight' on the BMI scale and seriously, Kathy, we were so close to her, she would have felt your breath on her neck as you said it. Completely uncalled for," Tom sighed, clearly exasperated.
"See," Kathy insisted to the rest of us. "I can't help myself and even Taylor stepped over the line with me."
"You're still not apologizing for saying it?" Tom asked her and Kathy snorted at him.
"Nope," she laughed.
"That was pretty harsh, Kathy," Jake frowned at her.
"What was Tom doing before you said it, Kathy?" I asked, amused.
"Staring at the bitch's ass. I had to put everyone back in their place," She told me haughtily. I laughed as Tom stared her down.
"Seriously, you said all that shit because I was looking at her ass?" He asked and she shrugged.
"You don't have to be so obvious about it," Kathy muttered.
"I was thinking the same thing as you said," Tom laughed.
"Then why am I rude for saying what you were thinking?" She demanded.
"Because you can't call people in their twenties geriatric old fucks and talk about their cellulite," He groaned at her.
"Watch me, and any way, this isn't about me being rude. We're all pissed off at Taylor, so shh!" Kathy glared at him.
"Y'all done?" Robbo asked and Kathy nodded her head once.
"I have a half-baked theory," Kathy announced.
"Here we go," Tom muttered. Before continuing, Kathy stared him down for a heartbeat with a cocked eyebrow.
"Anyway," she announced, glaring at him once more. "I think he's making you do the dirty work," She said, looking straight at me.
"Oooh," Jake gasped.
"What?" I asked, looking between them both.
"If you hate him, you'll find a way to get out of his way, and he doesn't have to deal with you," Kathy pointed out.
"But if he likes her and she's obviously got it bad for him, why would he do that?" Robbo looked at Kathy like she was mentally slow.
"I don't know," Kathy shook her head.
"Because it's just an assignment," I muttered, suddenly feeling like I have a stomach full of lead.
"What's an assignment?" Tom asked and I sighed, drawing my legs up to my body and wrapping my arms around them.
"The whole thing. Like me dressing up as a guy, he had to do a relationship," I spoke while looking at Kathy, her face dropped to the disappointment that I felt deep down.
"He doesn't know what's going on," She whispered with wide eyes.
"You being with Taylor is just for an assignment?" Jake asked and I nodded. "But it got real..." I nodded again, cutting him off.
"He's said things and I've said things and for the most part we've laughed it all off. It's meant to be the last day of the two weeks tomorrow," I frowned down at my hands.
"Cut you off, before you cut him off," Tom murmured.
"That is a really shitty thing to do," Robbo announced loudly and the abrupt way he just blurted it out makes me smile.
"Tell me about it," I sighed. "I don't know what to do about it," I told them.
"Honestly, I think he's under estimated you, Luce," Kathy stated and Jake nodded his head.
"You should have seen his face when you walked through the door tonight, he wasn't expecting you to come out tonight," Jake told me.
"His whole attitude changed, he nearly flipped the entire table when you started talking to that guy. I don't think you were meant to start talking to that guy," Robbo added.
"...and we all know how that ended," Tom murmured.
"Oh my god," Kathy gasped dramatically.
"What?" I asked, vaguely amused by her.
"Just keep getting in his way," she shrugged. "He got pissed off tonight because you didn't do what he wanted you to do. In fact you did the complete opposite; you started talking to a guy right in front of him and didn't give a flying monkey's butt about him being there. He completely lost it, so if you just keep doing that, it's going to get to the point where he just completely combusts and has to face the issue. He wants to believe you're this simpering little doll that hides away when you're in trouble, but you're all up in his grill." Kathy was bringing out her attitude, as she got more and more excited. She was a moment away from whipping out the diva finger snaps. "Just go about your business and keep pissing him off and giving him sass and then, he can't ignore you and his issues and whatever is going on in that head of his."
"That might actually work. Taylor has two settings, 'ignorance is bliss' and 'no, you may not ignore me and my megaphone mouth'," Jake laughed. "Look what happened with Milly."
"Milly is a really ugly person, Jake," Kathy said straightforwardly, and I laughed.
"Who's Milly?" Tom asked and Robbo, Jake and I all groan.
"Jakes ex-girlfriend, who fucked Taylor and like three hundred other guys and literally has a cellulite in leggings heart and is just a really awful person. We don't like her," Kathy said and Tom's brow dropped as he shook his head at her.
"Three hundred guys, Kathy?" Tom asked and her face dropped.
"May as well have been," She muttered, defiantly.
"Dude, she's right," Jake laughed. "She's got a cellulite in leggings heart."
"I can't believe you just said that," I laughed and he shrugged at me.
"It's a good description for it. She's ugly on the inside," He told me.
"Trust me, I know," I replied and his face dropped appropriately to guilt.
"I've already apologised," He gave me a contrite look.
"I know, plenty of times. I'm just trying to milk it for all its worth," I grinned at him and he finally laughed. "Well, now you guys have figured out the mystery that is Taylor Cadley, I need to sleep. I've got work all day at the gym tomorrow."
"Hey, is it true Taylor can't be at the gym while you're working?" Robbo asked, looking highly amused and I nodded, with a smirk. He chuckled as he stood up from where he and Jake had sprawled out on the floor.
"Yup."
"How much of the day is all day, tomorrow?" Jake asked with his own smirk.
"Open to close," I looked up at him as he stood up from the ground.
"Taylor has chest day tomorrow," Jake told me slowly, studying my face, and I shook my head with a grin.
"No. He doesn't." Jake threw his head back and let out a bellowing laugh.
"Oh, this is going to be very entertaining to watch. He loves chest day," Jake grinned.
"Chest day won't be until Monday," I laughed and Jake's face dropped in shock before his grin picked up again.
"Nooo," He gasped and I nodded.
"I'm on open to close all weekend," I laughed.
"Well, the plan was to get in the way. That's certainly getting in the way, he's going to crack it so hard," Jake laughed again as he followed Robbo through the door.