Pretending

36

Jin's POV

Jungkook and Jimin walked into my room while I was still staring at the ceiling, thinking about things.

"Jin, I decided that I should probably go back and face Tae," Jimin said as he sat down next to me. "I need to fix things somehow. And I need to give you two privacy."

I looked at Jungkook and felt guilt, so I turned to look at Jimin.

"That's a great plan, Jimin. You're right. You need to talk to him."

Jimin nodded. He looked nervous but determined. "I'll see you later Jin," Jimin said as he quickly hugged me before leaving.

"Bye Jungkook," Jimin said, hugging him too.

After he was gone, Jungkook just stared at me.

"So, does this mean you're going to call Namjoon? Tell him you're free again?"

I sighed. "I think so. I haven't seen him in a while."

"Does he know about us?"

I sat up and avoided looking at Jungkook.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Jungkook, we're in a polyamorous relationship. I don't need to tell him when I sleep with someone else."

"But do you usually tell him?"

"What?"

"Do you usually tell him that you're sleeping with other people."

"Yea," I let out softly.

"So why haven't you told him about me?"

I look at Jungkook. "I don't know."

"That's it? You don't know?" He scoffs.

"Jungkook, why are you upset? You knew I had a boyfriend."

He sighs. "Because I want to be that boyfriend. I told you, I love you."

I stay silent. "Jungkook, look, I care about you. A lot. But-"

"You have a boyfriend, yea, yea I get it."

I bite my lip to stop my face from showing my emotions. "Jungkook, this is why I never wanted to get involved with you. You're a sweet guy, and you're going to end up hurt and-"

"I'm already hurt Jin."

I close my eyes and feel my emotions threatening to spill out as tears. Instead I move my legs rapidly and stay quiet.

"I'm sorry Jungkook," I finally say.

"Maybe this is what I get. For fucking shit up with Tae and Jimin. I messed with their friendship. And now they can't even be happy together without resenting each other."

I open my eyes again and look at him. "That's not on you Jungkook. And don't think of this as a punishment. This isn't your fault. I'm older than you. I should have known better than to get involved with you."

Jungkook glares at me. "I'm not a child Jin. I went after you. I knew the situation. Now I just need to deal with this like a mature adult."

I don't say anything.

"I don't want this to stop," Jungkook say abruptly.

"What?" I question.

"What we have. The kisses. The sex. If you say this would be okay with your boyfriend, then why stop? I think we both like it too much to end it here."

I shake my head. "Jungkook, this is only going to make things harder in the long run."

"I don't care Jin. I want you. In whatever way I can have you."

"Jungkook, I'm not an object. You can't just-"

The sound of my phone ringing gets me to stop talking.

I see Namjoon's and answer immediately.

"Hey, Joon, what's up?"

"Babe! Good job on getting Jimin to leave you alone. He just got to the dorms. I'm leaving this shit hole and going over to yours right now."

"He left on his own."

"Wow, really? Good for him."

"Yea," I say while looking at Jungkook, who's making his way to me on the bed.

"I'll be there soon baby. I'm gonna fuck you so hard Jin, you won't be able to walk afterwards."

I scoff. "That doesn't sound too pleasant."

I glare at Jungkook who pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me.

"Oh, it will be. You're going to be a moaning mess. You should just prep yourself already. So we can get straight to it when I get there."

"Joon, ah" Jungkook was kissing my neck. "Fuck!"

Namjoon mistakes it for me reacting to him. "Are you starting to get turned on already Jinnie? So hot for me baby? Miss my cock that much you dirty slut?"

I roll my eyes. "God please Namjoon, I've told you that doesn't work for me."

"Sorry baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good my prince. Going to treat you like the fucking piece of art that you are."

I whimper as Jungkook lifts up my shirt and sucks on my nipples.

"You like that baby? Being treated like royalty?"

I moan as Jungkook rubbed my erection through my sweatpants.

"Fuck, baby. I'll be there soon. I can't fucking wait to be inside you."

I only moan again when Jungkook takes my dick in his mouth.

"You sound so sexy baby. I'm gonna hang up but I'll be there soon, okay?"

I let out a weak, "okay," and then he hands up and I put my hands on Jungkook's hair and push him down so he can deep throat me.

I let him continue for a while before I say something.

"Fucking shit Jungkook! What the fuck was that?"

He stopped and smiled at me. "I'm gonna get you all prepped baby."

"I was on the phone with Joon! He could have heard."

He smirked. "So what? You said this wasn't cheating."

I glared at him. "Jungkook, please."

"Please what? What do you want? Want me to rim you?"

"Jungkook! No! You need to leave!"

"Why?"

"You know why."

"I don't know, maybe I should stay. You can introduce me to your boyfriend. Maybe he'd like me."

I sigh in exasperation. "Please Jungkook. Leave right now."

He sits up and stares at me. "You know he wouldn't like this. You're not telling him for a reason. He'd be so upset that while you've been saying no to him, you let me fuck you."

I don't say anything because I know it's true.

He stands up and then leans down to kiss my cheek.

"Bye. Have fun with your boyfriend."

He left me in my quiet, empty house.

I hated every second of waiting of Namjoon to get there. I was used to having someone there. I felt so lonely. And I felt so guilty. I felt like I wanted to cry, but that wasn't really my thing.

I even missed my parents at this point. I hadn't seen them in a while. I had a feeling they would come around soon. They probably were running out of money. I sighed.

My whole life was taking care of people.

And right now, I just wanted someone to take care of me.

And that someone was Namjoon. I'd tell him about Jungkook later. Right now, I just needed him to be there for me.