Pretending

40

After the events of the past days, things between Jimin and I changed.

We slowly found a new normal. A better one.

The air around the both of us different.

It was like if we had been living in a cage that had a limited amount of oxygen before. Both of us struggled to breath and had to hold in our breath so that we would be fine. But now we were able to breath normally.

We weren't so careful around each other anymore. We were more comfortable.

I held Jimin close to me every chance I got. After out time apart all I wanted was to be with him. It felt good to know we had both decided to commit to each other. I would find myself fantasizing about what we were going to name our kids and what our wedding flowers would look like. I wondered if I was getting ahead of myself, but it was too much fun to think about, so I just let my mind dream.

I thought about things a lot. How Jimin had showed me his real self. Revealed how much of a flawed person he was. How he was capable of being selfish. How he was able to appear perfect in my eyes even when he wasn't.

I thought I had known his flaws before, but I realized that until I accepted them, I couldn't truly say I knew them.

I thought about my own flaws. How I pretended that Jimin was perfect. How I forced myself into forgetting about things that were obviously still affecting me.

I slowly learned to forgive Jimin. I didn't tell him I did because I think he knew. I showed it through my actions.

I learned how to stand up for myself. How to tell Jimin when what he wanted from me wasn't something I wanted.

Jimin learned too. He would recognize it when I slipped up and started putting my feelings second.

We didn't suddenly become perfect. We still fucked things up. But we admitted to things. We talked them through.

I was so proud of us.

We were still idiots, but idiots that were beginning to become a little wiser each day.

"Tae," Jimin called out.

I was sitting down on my bed, thinking about things. I turned to look at him.

"Yea?"

"I've been thinking about something."

He walked towards me.

"What sweetie?"

He sat on my lap.

"Um," he laughed. "I don't even know. I kinda just wanted to get your attention."

I laughed too. "What? For real?"

He nodded. "I've been thinking about a lot of things. I'm not even sure which one I was planning on saying."

"I've been thinking a lot too."

I shifted him so that he could be more comfortable.

"Is it weird that I miss Jungkook? "Jimin asked.

I shook my head. "I kinda miss him too."

Jimin's face suddenly lit up. "Oh my god, Tae. I haven't even told you!"

"Told me what?"

"Jungkook and Jin! I found them making out the other day!"

My eyes widened in shock. "What?!"

"I know, it's crazy!"

"Is Jin going to leave Namjoon?" I asked, feeling scared that the answer would be yes. I loved Jin and Namjoon together so much. They just felt so right together.