Pretending

23

We ended up getting burgers because they couldn't decide so they made me choose.

I was in the middle of taking a big bite of my burger when Jin asked, "So is this your first year in college?"

I awkwardly stopped trying to take a bite and wiped my mouth.

"Oh, sorry you can eat," Jin said with a sweet smile.

I smiled back at him and responded, "Yes, it is. And you?" I take a bite of the burger as he answers.

"I'm actually on my last year here. I graduate in May."

"Really? That's so cool!"

He smiled. "Yea it's kind of crazy though. Like I've wanted this for so long, and now it's here. I don't know if I'm ready to become an adult and stop living with my parents."

Namjoon smiled at him. "Don't worry Jinnie, you'll do fine. You're already more responsible than them."

"Exactly!" Jin said. "What are they going to do without me?"

"Probably lose the house," Namjoon said bluntly.

Jin glared at him. "Thanks, that's comforting."

"No problem babe," he said as he leaned in for a kiss. Jin frowned and pushed him away.

"Tae, I'm sorry about this idiot. He's probably going to force you to be his friend and he's a real pain in the ass."

"Correction, I'm a pain in your ass, because I fuck you so hard," Namjoon said with a smirk.

Jin's eyes widen and he looks mortified. "Joonie, not in front of the child."

I roll my eyes. "What child?"

"You sweetie," Jin says smiling at me. "Don't let this man corrupt you. He's a pervert. You don't want to end up like him."

"Who says I'm not already corrupted?" I asked.

Jin laughs. "Baby, you're clearly a sweet guy. I'm sure you are into some weird sexual shit, but you aren't disgusting like him. I can see your big heart from here."

"I can see that he's got a big dick from here," Namjoon said.

I choked on my soda.

"Joonie! Please control yourself!" Jin hit Namjoon's arm as Namjoon laughed.

"I'm so sorry Tae. This man clearly has no boundaries. I'm afraid we have to accept him as he is."

"Oh, I'm not that bad," Namjoon said. "Just messing with you, Tae. I swear I'm not that weird."

"He most definitely is. Run now if you want to Tae. Don't say you haven't been warned," Jin said with a serious voice.

"I mean," I paused as I thought of what to say. "You're not bad. I'm just a little shocked. Since we just met you know."

Namjoon smiled at me and ate a fry. "You'll get used to it," he says.

"How did you meet?" Jin asked.

"We had class together. I saw this really cute guy staring at me and I asked him if he wanted to go. Tae said yes and here we are."

Jin frowned at me. "Tae, you really shouldn't skip class. Especially not with a stranger."

I shrugged. "Well nothing bad happened did it?"

Jin's eyes widened. "Nothing bad? Did you not get the hint? This guy is crazy. He's definitely bad. "

Namjoon smiled at Jin. "You know you love me though baby."

Jin smiles back at him. "Why lie?"

I watched them being cute in their own weird way as I finished my burger.

"So, tell me about your boyfriend. I wanna know if he's worth you missing out on a really fun threesome with us."

Jin sighed. "Namjoon, why would the boy want to fuck you? He just met you. I mean maybe he'd sleep with me, but only because I'm gorgeous."

I smile. "You're both pretty. But my Jiminie already has my heart."

"Awww," Jin said. "How cute!"

"All I heard was that I am pretty. How come you never tell me I'm pretty Jin?" Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Joonie, shush! Tae's going to tell us about his boyfriend, and I bet it's going to be so cute," he said excitedly, putting his head in his hands and looking at me eagerly.

"Well he's not my boyfriend. But it's more like the label that's not there."

Jin's excitement fell off his face. "Wait, what? Why?"

"We still love each other and we're happy, we just don't want to move things too fast and put pressure on the relationship."

"You mean that he's insecure about whether you two will last and so he doesn't want to have to break up with you so instead he will just end whatever it is you guys do," Namjoon said.

I frowned. "No! It's not like that."

"Tae, who is this boy? I want to talk to him. I don't want him to break your heart," Jin said, looking serious.

"Why are you guys being like this? It's just a label. Doesn't mean anything."

"Has he had a boyfriend before?" Namjoon asked. After I nodded he said, "Well then he doesn't have a problem with labels. He has a problem with labeling what you have. Ask yourself why that is."

His words once again opened the doors that were holding back the flood of insecurities in my mind.

"Joon, don't be so mean either. Tae, you just need to watch out okay. You're a sweet guy."

"You don't even know me or the situation," I said in an angry voice, getting defensive.

"Tae, don't get mad. You're right I don't know. But I have dated enough people and done the no labels thing to know that it doesn't always work. Just looking out for you honey."

"Well thank you Jin, but I don't need anyone looking out for me."

"Something about how you say that makes me think you're used to people not looking out for you. Do you look out for yourself Tae?" Jin's voice was concerned and I knew he had good intentions, but I didn't like hearing him say that. It made my mind wander and ask itself questions that I didn't want answers to because then I'd be forced to face the reality.

I just looked down and didn't say anything.

"Tae, I'm sorry if I'm overstepping my boundaries. I know we just met, but I want us to be good friends. You can trust me okay?"

I nodded. As much as his words affected me, it still felt nice to hear his soothing and caring voice speak out to me so softly. I felt as if I could go to him for advice. And maybe I needed someone to help me figure out all the feelings I had been repressing for so long.