Pretending

15

I had drunk enough to let some of the things I had been thinking slip out of my mouth more easily. I wasn't drunk, but definitely tipsy.

"Jiminie, you're so pretty," I said as I watched him dance along to a Britney Spears song. His body was moving sensually to the music and it was so sexy.

He smiled at me and made his way towards me. He moved his body against mine as he danced.

"Fuck, Jimin," I said, putting my hands in his waist. He felt so fucking perfect.

"Taehyungie, do you like how I dance?" he asked with the cutest voice.

"Jimin, you dance like a god." He smiled and pushed me down on the couch. Then he climbed on my lap and started dancing on top of me.

"Guess what Yoongi told me?" Jimin asked as he put his hands on my shoulders.

"What?" I asked, feeling weirdly turned on by Jimin's body on top of mine.

"That you touch yourself while you're next to me," he whispered in my ear.

I stilled and felt like I couldn't breathe. My face turned red in embarrassment. "I'm going to kill him for telling you that," I finally said.

Jimin giggled. "It's okay Tae. No need to be embarrassed. Maybe next time you could wake me up. I could help you out."

I felt like my ears were deceiving me. There was no way Jimin had just said that. I looked at his face and he had a flirty grin.

Fuck, he really did say it.

He wrapped his arms around my neck. "Tae, you know I'd do anything for you right? I love you so much. So fucking much." He suddenly started crying, confusing me.

"I'm really sorry about all the pain I've caused you Tae," he says as he cries.

"Jimin, what are you talking about?" I asked him, worried about his change in mood.

"More than being sad about my breakup, I'm just to so fucking full of regret. I don't know why I ever got involved with Jungkook. I hurt you so much, and for what Tae? For what? So that he could end up breaking my heart like I broke yours?" He let out a sob. "I'm just such a fucking idiot. I thought I was doing the right thing by following my heart, even though I knew that it would hurt you. I thought it was worth it because it was true love. But I was so wrong Tae. I don't think Jungkook ever loved me. He just liked my body. And I gave in so easy. I let him fuck me like it meant nothing because that's what he wanted. I let him twist me around and mold me into what he liked. And I was stupid enough to think I had any control by using sex against him."

His sobs were so loud now that it made him have a hard time talking, but he did it anyways. "It was all in vain Tae. It was just a stupid illusion I made in my head. I'm so sorry that it hurt you." I put my arms around him to comfort him.

"Jimin, that's all in the past now, okay? You don't have to apologize. I just want you to feel better, okay?" He nodded against me.

"Let's take another shot," he said, standing up. "This is supposed to be fun. I promise I won't cry again."

We drink the bitter alcohol once more and start dancing again.

My thoughts become messy. All I can see and think of is Jimin. His newly dyed hair that looked so fucking good on him. His hips moving side to side and the way that his pants clung to his perfect legs.

I always knew Jimin was beautiful, but now it wasn't just something I knew. It became the only persistent thought in my mind.

He smiled at me as he danced against me. I let my hands roam his body. I wanted to taste him. I thought back to my first kiss back when I was thirteen. Jimin's lips had been so nice. Now he was even more perfect. I wanted to feel his lips so badly.

"Red looks so good on you," Jimin said as he ran his hands through my hair. I smiled at him and we both sat down on the couch together. He wasn't close enough. I needed to be touching him.

I pulled him into my lap and put my hands on his waist.

Suddenly Jimin giggled.

"What's so funny?" I asked, already laughing without even knowing thanks to the alcohol.

"I was just thinking about stuff."

"What stuff?" I asked him.

He smiled. "Promise not to judge me?"

I held out my pinkie. We linked them together and didn't let go as Jimin spoke.

"I'm kind of kinky. I never really told anyone. Right now that you just pulled me into your lap like I was a rag doll, it kinda got me going. I like it rough. Never really got to experience it because I was too embarrassed to tell Jungkook. But I just want someone to choke me and to treat me like I'm just there for pleasure. But I also want to be taken care of. Like afterwards." He smiled so innocently like if he wasn't talking about his sexual preferences.

I chucked and pushed his body down on the couch harshly. "Like this baby?" I asked. He swallowed and looked shocked for a moment.

I wrapped my arms around his pretty throat and looked into his eyes. He nodded.

I squeezed his throat for a moment and felt his boner touching me as I stopped him from being able to breath.

I let go after a moment and just stared at his lips. His beautiful lips that were letting out sharp breaths after regaining the ability to breath.

"Kiss me," Jimin said. "I know you want to Tae. Kiss me. I want it too."

I pressed my lips against his. His tongue made its way inside my mouth. It felt like everything was falling into place. This was where I belonged. Everything seemed perfect.

We kissed some more and then just held each other. Neither of us made a move to do anything more, and I was glad because I didn't want to do more than this while drunk. I needed to make sure he would still feel the same way while sober.

"I love you Tae," Jimin said.

"I love you too Jimin," I said.

The sleepiness and the alcohol made its way into our system and we soon fell asleep on the couch in each other's arms.