Pretending

2

Jimin walked into our shared dorm room with a bright smile on his face. He had a bouquet of colorful daisies in his hand. 

"Taehyungie!" He called out as he saw me. 

"Jiminie!" I called back out with the same enthusiasm at seeing my beautiful best friend with his pretty blonde hair and perfect smile. 

He was radiating happiness. Today was his one year anniversary with Jungkook.

"Look what Jungkookie got me," Jimin said excitedly showing me his flowers.

"They're beautiful," I said with a genuine smile in my face. 

He set the flowers down and then opened his arms out to me.

I stepped into his warm embrace and hugged him tightly. His body felt warm and comforting, just like he always did.

He also smelled like Jungkook's cologne.

I felt a pang in my chest at the thought of the two of them together. Don't get me wrong, I was beyond happy that Jimin was so in love and happy. I was happy for Jungkook too. I guess I was just left wondering about myself. My favorite thing to do was wallow in my self pity whenever I was alone. 

I kept telling myself to get over it. It had been almost two years since he broke up with me. They didn't even start dating right away, mainly because Jimin felt so guilty. I convinced him to just be with Jungkook. A part of me felt like an idiot, but I also felt happy for Jimin. Despite everything, it still hurt. It hurt to see them together. 

They were the most considerate people ever. It took forever for me to convince them that it was okay with me if they talked about their relationship in front of me. I said, "It's okay, I'm fine," so many times that I started to believe it.

My only comfort was that although I had to endure all of that pain and having to pretend I wasn't bothered was that I got to keep my friendship with Jimin. 

So I ignored the smell of Jungkook and continued to hug Jimin's small body. 

Since all the pain seemed to be just my inner turmoil, I was surprised to hear Jimin sniffel and to realize that he was crying. 

"What's wrong Jiminie?" I asked as I slightly pulled away from the hug to look at his face.

"It's just that I'm the worst friend ever. I suck so much, Taehyung. Who does this to their best friend? I'm so selfish, I don't deserve you, I don't deserve Jungkook." Big tears poured out of his eyes as he stared at me with the most sorrowful look I've ever seen.

"Jimin, please don't say that sweetheart,"  I say as I put one hand on his cheek. "I love you so much. You deserve the world baby. You saved me. You are my family. Your happiness is my happiness. So please don't be sad."

With the weight of his pain in my chest, I pushed back any feelings of resentment for the situation to the back of my head and hugged him tightly against me. 

"Tae, I love you too. I just feel so bad. I know you say it's fine, but I just don't feel sure. I want you to be happy too, not just me."

I pulled away so we could look at each other. "Jimin don't worry. This happened a long time ago." I paused for a moment to think of what I could say to convince him I was fine.

"I actually like someone else now, so don't worry about it. I'm really fine."

His face brightened a bit. "Really? You do? Who?"

I internally groaned, hoping he wouldn't have asked who. Since I had stayed quiet, Jimin gave me a smile and said, "Tell me Taehyungie, who is this boy who has your interest?"

"Um..." He took this as hesitation, and not as me wracking my brain to think of whose name to say.

"Oh come on Tae Tae, tell me." He was smiling brightly and looked so relieved, thinking I was fine. 

 I smiled back at him, feeling happy to see him look like his usual bubbly self. "It's some guy from one of my classes."

"What's his name?" Jimin asked.

I quickly thought of what to say.

"Yoongi," I said.