Pretending

19

Yoongi's POV

I made my way to my car in anger. I drove away with loathing. I got to my house with pure hatred and once I got to my room I got the nearest thing I could find and threw it against the wall. I screamed in frustration and then the tears came.

Once they started they wouldn't stop. They just overcame me and left sobs running through my body.

I was so fucking pissed. This was fucking bullshit. I had never felt the way I felt in that moment.

I was so glad no one was home to hear my pathetic cries that had me struggling to breath.

I couldn't believe how much it hurt. Tae wasn't my boyfriend. I hadn't even been long enough with him to fall in love. So why did it feel like someone had shoved a knife in my back and left my bleeding out? Why did it feel like my heart was being squeezed and that my lungs were being ripped from my chest?

I tried to process my emotions. Tried to make sense of what had just happened.

I had just lost Taehyung.

Beautiful Taehyung whose smile would make my day a hundred times better. Whose kisses melted my entire body. Whose deep voice was a comfort that I didn't think I could live without.

He was funny and sweet and silly and cute and so fucking perfect.

And he wasn't mine anymore.

It fucking broke my heart.

I questioned what I had done wrong. Did I not tell him how much I liked him? Did I not watch out for how much time he was spending with fucking Jimin? Was I just a fucking idiot?

And the way I treated him when he told me.

The way he cried.

The way I just left him there and didn't even comfort him.

If I was like Jimin I would had comforted him. No matter how much it hurt me.

That was probably why he chose Jimin. He would actually be there for him. Not like me. He wouldn't be a shitty person like me.

God, I'm such a fucking asshole.

I cried for so long. Eventually I made myself stop.

Yoongi, you're an adult. You need to stop this. He wasn't even yours. Stop acting like if the love of your life just left you. He was just some guy. Some guy that kissed someone else. Who loves someone else. Move on you idiot.

I talked myself into not being such a little bitch anymore. Then I got my car keys and decided to drive to Hoseok's apartment. I needed a friend right now.

He only lived a few minutes away from me. When I got there, I used the key he had given me over a year ago to let myself in.

I opened the door to his room without announcing my presence. That was a mistake.

When I walked in, Hoseok had porn playing on his tv and he was completely naked, moaning as he jerked off.

"Oh my fucking god!" I screamed in surprise from what I had seen. I turned around.

Hoseok stopped to look at me and said, "Oh hey, Yoongs! Didn't know you were coming over today. Sorry." He gave me a sheepish smile as he covered himself.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was coming. Didn't mean to interrupt your uh...um... whatever this is."

Hoseok's hands reached out and turned me back to face him. I stared at his hand my arm. That hand had just been wrapped around his dick.

He noticed and pulled his hand away and smiled. "Sorry," he said.

"Hoseok, I can leave so you can finish," I said beginning to turn around.

"No, Yoongs, tell me what's up. I know you. You wouldn't just come here unannounced unless something important happened."

At his kind face, I felt my tears resurface and run down my cheeks.

"Aw, Yoongi, come here," Hoseok said, pulling me on the bed and against his body. He was still practically naked and sweaty, but his hug felt very comforting, so I tried to ignore that.

"Tell me what happened sweetie."

"Jimin happened. That stupid perfect fucker who is just a perfect fucking person with his stupid selflessness and his perfect fucking face and just fucking perfect everything."

I stopped crying as the anger resurged.

"Wait, what? Explain. Jimin? What did he do?"

I looked down and scowled. "He fucking lured Tae in. He probably used his stupid, perfect ass to fucking suck him into his mess. And of course, Tae left me and picked him. Why the fuck wouldn't he?"

"Tae left you for Jimin? Are you serious? Is he a fucking idiot? Didn't Jimin just break up with Jungkook? It's stupid enough that he's still friends with him. I mean he literally stole his man."

Hearing him talk about it that way made me feel better. He made it seem as if he was the idiot, not me, and that was extremely comforting.

"Yoongi, it's his loss hun," Hoseok said as he pulled Yoongi's chin up so he would look him in the eye. "Don't cry over that fucker. You're amazing. You'll find someone better."

"Like who?"

Hoseok smiled. "Well it's too soon for that honey. Don't be in a rush. The right man will come along eventually."

I rolled my eyes. "Yea, well that doesn't really make me feel better. I'm still alone."

"You're not alone sweetie, you got me," Hoseok said with a bright smile. "You know I bet there's something I can do to cheer you up."

"What?"

"Angry rebound sex," Hoseok said causally with a smile, as if he hadn't just offered to fuck his best friend.

"Hobi, what the actual fuck?"

"Well, I'm already hard. And I bet it'll make you feel better honey. Doesn't have to be weird. Just sex. I mean we've already given each other plenty of blowjobs and handjobs. And we've made out plenty."

I thought about it for a second. "Fuck it," I said. "Let's do this."

"I think you mean, fuck me." Hoseok says with a smile as he started to take off my clothes. I smiled back, feeling my dick get hard now that I allowed myself to get a good look at how hot Hobi looked.

He got me naked and pushed me onto the bed. I pushed aside all thoughts of Tae as Hoseok put my dick in his mouth and made me moan in pleasure.