Pretending

1

I love my best friend Jimin. He's been there for me through everything. If there's anyone in this world that I can say will always be there for me without a doubt it's him. I love him so much that I would forgive anything he did. Including falling in love with my boyfriend. 

I met Jungkook when I was a freshmen in high school. We got along great. We would play video games together and joke about the stupidest things. I introduced Jungkook to Jimin soon after we became friends. The three of us become close. 

I had the biggest crush on Jungkook. Jimin and I would spend hours talking about him and his cute teeth and the way he smiled and how just fucking cute he was all around.  Now that I think back to it, it never really was just me who must have had a crush on Jungkook. 

Jungkook liked me too, and our sophamore year we started dating. If Jimin ever felt jealous or unhappy about it, he never showed it. He gave us space to go out on dates and to do cute couple shit like cuddling or making out. We had all been such great friends, so the three of us still hung out a lot. 

Junior year I joined our school's art club and I spend lots of time after school working on paintings, or photography. I didn't have much time to spend with either Jimin or Jungkook, but they would still hang out with each other all the time.

I still remember the day that they both sat me down and told me their feelings.

"Tae, um, we need to talk about something." I could tell Jimin was super nervous. Jungkook just kept looking into his hands. I was naive enough to not worry.

"What's up Jimminie?"  I smiled warmly at him. Jimin tried to smile back but his eyes held fear and sadness.

"Tae, you know I love you right? You're the most precious thing to me in this world. I would never do anything to hurt you, well on purpose. I just want you to know that although this is going to look like that's what I was trying to do, it really wasn't. And I'm truly really sorry. I'm so sorry Tae, I just-" A sob escaped Jimin, and he couldn't talk anymore.  

I quickly wrapped my arms around him to comfort my poor best friend who wouldn't stop crying. "Jimin, I don't know what's going on, but whatever it is, it's okay. I know you wouldn't hurt me. You can just tell me what's going on." I tried speaking with my kindest voice ever, but somehow that only appeared to  make Jimin cry more.

"Jungkook, what's going on?" Jungkook looked at me with a pained, guilty look.

It was then that I started to worry. "What happened? Jiminie please stop crying. Someone please explain what's going on." I looked between the two of them.

Jungkook was about to speak when Jimin stopped crying momentarily to look at me and start explaining.

"Before I tell you, I just want you to know that nothing has happened. I would never do that to you. We've just talked about things. As soon as we both admitted how we felt we made sure to tell you as soon as we could. I don't want you think that things have been going on behind your back. "

"Jimin please, I'm so confused. Whatever it is, just tell me."

Jimin looked at Jungkook. "I can't say it," Jimin said to Jungkook.

Jungkook looked at me. "Taehuyng," he took a deep breath.

"Yes baby?" The mention of the word baby caused Jungkook's eyes to get  watery.

"Tae, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I don't want this to ruin your friendship with Jimin." Tears started running rapidly down his cheeks.

After seeing the people I love crying, I couldn't help start crying. I was still super confused, but I knew that whatever would happen next was going to break my heart.

It was Jimin who finally said it. "Tae, I fell in love with Jungkook."

I heard the words. I understood what they meant. Yet it didn't click. 

"Wait what? What do you mean?" 

Jungkook didn't look at me as he spoke. "Tae you've been a great boyfriend for a long time, and I still love you, but I am not in love with you anymore."

He mumbled the last part, but I heard every word. I think I stopped breathing for a moment. The next breath I took was more of a gasp as I felt pain flood through me. Tears quickly  poured out of my eyes as I finally began to understand what was going on. 

Jimin hugged me tight and started talking as fast as he could. "This was never planned Tae. Jungkook and I realized that we fell in love with each other. I swear that we haven't done anything other than admit our feelings. And if this hurts you too much then I promise that I'll ignore my feelings. How you feel is more important to me than how I feel so please tell me what you're thinking."

I wanted to just be comforted by my best friend, but unfortunately he was the one that had just shattered my heart into a million pieces. The only other person who could comfort me was just as responsible for my pain.

I was bombarded with emotions, but the most prominent one of them all was the need to protect Jimin from his pain. As much as my own heart ached, I didn't want to hurt him. 

"Jiminie," I said as I held his face with my hands, forcing him to look at me. "I love you Jiminie." His tears slowed down and his lip quivered from trying to hold them back. "It's okay Jiminie. I can't force either of you to stop your feelings. I don't want you to be hurt because I'm holding on to someone who doesn't feel the same way I do." Jimin looked only a little relived, but he clearly was still hurting. 

"Jungkook," Jungkook looked at me with pain in his eyes. "Kookie, I understand. It's okay. Be with Jimin. Make him happy. Promise me you'll make  him the happiest person ever, it's what he deserves."

Jungkook cried and nodded. "I promise Tae."

After that day it was hard for me, going around pretending that everything was fine.

Senior year passed by and I got real good at it. 

It wasn't until college started that it all came fucking crashing down and the emotions I had been holding couldn't be held back anymore.

*Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung are all the same age