Dating Days and Campfires

Angry.

HEY WHERE'S THE DRUMS 

Recap: Taylor kisses Cass, runs off, leaving Cass to decide whether or not to tell Alex. Cass begins to connect the dots that Taylor likes her, and she tells Alex about the kiss in the night, leading to a fight where Cass confesses that she loves him! 

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Every little girl imagines their first 'I love you' as some magical moment. 

It'll be under the stars, with their dream guy whispering the words to them and they whisper them back and everything is perfect. 

That's exactly how I imagined it would happen with Alex and I. 

But, as soon I said those words, I wish I could take them back. 

"Because I love you, Alex!" 

The words hang in the air between us and I gasp, bringing my hands to my mouth to try to shove them back in. 

My heart is pounding and I realize the severity of what I had just done. 

Alex's eyes widen and he opens and closes his mouth, but no words come out. 

No, 'I love you' comes out. 

And that's when I realize. 

Alex doesn't love me. 

I stumble backwards, stunned. "I-uh-got to go," I mumble and turn, running away, the tears spilling from the eyes. (Gif on the right or above) 

How could Alex ever love me? What type of fantasy world was I living in? 

Taylor was right. Alex was scared to commitment and I would never change that. He would never feel for me the way I loved him. 

Stupid, Cass! You should have just kept quiet, maybe even duct-taped your mouth shut! Or told Alex about the kiss sooner! 

This is all your fault. 

God, that little voice in my head is annoying. 

I felt a pain in my chest so bad, I was 90% I was having a heart attack. This was 10 times worse than when Trevor broke up with me. Slowly, my hurt turned to anger. Anger at Alex, Taylor, and mostly myself. For trusting and putting my heart on the line. 

"Cass!" A drunken voice slurred my name as I neared my cabin.

I turned my head, wiping my wet cheeks. "T-Taylor?" I hiccups, squinting at the person through my blurry vision. 

"You bet'cha!" He stumbled forward, a bottle of god-knows-what in his hand. His eyes were bloodshot and he swings an arm around me. "How you doin'?" 

Of course. This was the Taylor Herrings way. Make a mistake-get drunk. 

"Just go to sleep, Taylor," I sigh, trying to shove him off. 

"But I wanna talk to you." 

"Okay, you know what?" I hiss, removing his arm from around me and pushing him away. "You have no right to FREAKING kiss me and then run away with no explanation! I deserve at least that, right? And then show up drunk and happy!" I growl, advancing and continuing to shove him in his chest.

Sober Taylor would have been able to keep his ground, but lucky for me, Taylor was far from it. He kept falling backwards, tripping over himself. 

"I think someone is grumpy," Taylor grins, pouting. 

That. Was. It. 

"I think that someone is an asshole," I spit and then use all my force to punch him straight in the nose.