Dan Howell Imagines {REQUESTS ARE CLOSED}

Cigarettes & Nightmares; requested by Phanslefteyelash

The tv blared of the local news program throughout your small, rundown apartment. Your boyfriend of two years was sprawled out on the couch. Beer in hand, cigarette in the other, slowly drifting off to sleep from staying up all night. 

As for you, you were in the kitchen, standing in front of the sink as your fingers danced on top of your swollen, discolored skin from what happened last night. The makeup that was on your face, was slowly dripping off and drying as you just had another breakdown. You were too tired and very sore to take it off. Your whole body ached with such a simple movement. The splitting headache you now have, was the only thing you could feel, beside the knot in your neck from your head being slammed against the wall harshly. 

You prayed to God, every single night, to wish something bad would happen to him. Anything. You even wished for the impossible. For him to change for good, and get help. He keeps apologizing, but he goes back to his old ways. You wanted to leave him. You tried before, but somehow him or one of his best mates found you and brought you home. He was so different back in Uni. He was so gentle, he'd never hurt a fly. But why did he change? Why would he hurt you?

You moved away from the sink, as you picked up a knife that was in its holder. Your hand was small, as you wrapped your nimble fingers around the base of it. Many thoughts of ending your life ran through your mind everyday. You knew it was unhealthy, you needed an escape, but you couldn't get yourself to do. Your mother and father and siblings ran through your mind, they'd be devastated to hear that their daughter ended her life. Your best friends would be lost without you. 

The tears became to fall again. The grip on the knife became tighter as you inched it closer to your black and blue skin. "I'm sorry's" left your mouth several times, as you placed the cold tip of the blade on the skin. Slightly placing pressure. But your action soon stopped, as the sound of your phone going off, meaning someone was calling you. You immediately placed the knife back where it was, as you dug into your pocket to grab your phone.  

"Hello?" I asked into the phone, as I used my free hand to swipe away the stray tears. "Uh- is this Y/N Y/L/N?" The person on the phone was a man, his voice was deep. "This is. And you?" The man on the phone chuckled a bit, "hey, it's Dan Howell!" The man - Dan, was your ex-boyfriend back in college. After the heart brake, you needed to relieve some stress so you decided to have one night stand. That simple one night stand turned into an abusive relationship that you couldn't escape. But you and Dan were madly in love, everybody knew who you were, even though they never met you. But sadly, Dan decided to move on, and you both weren't seeing eye-to-eye. "Dan.. how are you?" You couldn't help but smile as his voice filled your eyes like music. But in the back of your mind, you knew you had to be quiet so you wouldn't have to pay for it later. 

Dan: "I'm good, I know this is sudden, but do you wanna go hang out today?" 
You: "Oh, Dan! I'd love too, but-"
Dan: "It's okay if you can't. I just miss talking to you."

Your smile became wider after he said it. You thought about his offer.

"Count me in. Meet me in an hour at the local coffeeshop?" You turned around to see if your boyfriend was behind you, but thankfully he wasn't. You needed to get out of here. The place was toxic and there was nothing to do, beside cry. You quickly tip-toed to the bathroom to redo your makeup and to pull on a sweater to cover your bruises. 

--- 

The intense downpour of the rain surrounded you as you quickly jogged to the nearby coffeeshop. Your hair was slightly becoming wet as the hood of your jacket was slipping off with ever step. Luckily for you, the coffeeshop was warm and dry as you entered into the building. Without looking around, you heard your name being called as you could tell who that voice came from. 

"Hey, Dan!" You ran towards him, as he swiftly wrapped his arms around your body as he hugged tightly. You couldn't help but giggle as you remembered like it was the good old days. Once you both separated, he sat down in a chair that was on the opposite side of you. You couldn't help but feel as if people were watching you. You actually didn't know why what made you come see Dan without your boyfriend's permission. 

"How have you've been?" Dan asked as he pushed the scalding hot coffee towards you. His smile was huge, his adorable dimples were prominent and you couldn't help your heart to flutter a bit. "I could be better." You shrugged as you looked away and into the window where you could see it was still raining. In the corner of your eye you could see Dan nod as he took a sip of his coffee. "Remember, Y/N, you can always talk to me. Even though we just reunited."  You took a deep breath as you rested your head on hand, looking at Dan. 

"I want too. I'm just afraid that he'll find out." Your eyes began to fill with tears as Dan took your free hand that was rested on the table. He placed more pressure than usual on a sensitive spot, that made you cry out. People who sat down on different tables looked at you, while Dan shot his hand away. But soon enough, his hand came back as he pushed the sleeve up your arm. You tried to push him away but he was too strong. He gasped a bit as he saw your whole arm black and blue. "Is this "he" do that?!" The concern in his eyes turn into anger as he stood up from his chair. "I'm going to leave him soon!" You whispered-yelled. But you were lying, you honestly didn't know when you'd leave him. 

"Follow me." Dan said as he was walking to the front door, not caring about the rain. You were so used to following directions so you did what he said. Luckily outside of the coffee, there was a part that had a canapé so you couldn't get wet. "Break up with him." Dan crossed his arms as he eyes burned into you. "I just can't do that!" You stomped your foot on the ground, "he has his ways! He can find me when I'm miles and miles away! I can't escape, Dan!" More tears were falling, you could feel your makeup drip down your face. "Let me help you." Dan came close to you as he placed his large hands on your shoulders lightly. "How?" 

"We'll find a way." Dan's face was coming closer with every second. You couldn't help but lean in too. In a matter of seconds, Dan's soft lips was against yours. You hesitated a bit, knowing something bad would happen if you went on. But you did it anyways as you wrapped your arms around his neck. "I've missed you." He whispered as he placed his forehead against yours. "I could tell.." You giggled as you pulled away. 

"Like I said, I'll help you. I'm not sure how but I will."

"You promise you won't leave me alone with him?"

"I swear on my life, Y/N. I promise." 

He kissed you again, before pulling you into his car so you could go to his place to make up a plan. 

REASON WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED (YOU CAN IGNORE IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE)

About a week ago, my mom found out I have a Wattpad account by seeing all the notifications from the app. - I recently posted an imagine. She kept on asking questions about the app, "is it safe?" "is it appropriate?" Of course I said yes, but really I didn't want to get into it because it's MY PRIVACY. All of her questions just made me become really nervous and I got wicked bad stress hives from it and I couldn't talk at all. 

Thats the reason why I haven't been updating, I've been keeping my phone/laptop usage on the down low so she wouldn't become suspicious. I also turned off my notifications because she looks at my phone EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING. So thats why I haven't been messaging right away. 

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!