Dear Diary:
HURRAY, I'M OLDER :DDDDD THAT WASN'T SARCASM (or was it)
I woke up to Denmark screaming in my ear, Finland throwing a cake in my face, Norway shouting "WHO DAT BOI? IT DA BIRTHDAY BOI" and Sweden waving some maracas around
Lowkey the cringest thing that has ever happened to me besides existing
So anyways, everyone was like "YAAAAY HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAY.... now we're leaving you alone at home all day" and they left somewhere idk where
Ofc Sealand stayed
And then we just waited for Hong Kong and Liechtenstein to arrive, which they did very soon
Me: Hi gu-
And then Hong Kong lowkey attacked me and we made out on the dirty floor with Liechtenstein and Sealand watching
...
#RelationshipGoals
Liechtenstein: Happy birthday!! I got you no presents
HK: I MADE A SUPER AMAZING GIFT FOR YOU ON MY PHONE BUT I FORGOT IT AT Home....
Our friendship is wonderful
We all tried to get as much money as possible to take a plane trip to wherever dat mountain is
HK: HOW MUCH DID YOU GUYS GET? I GOT LIKE ABOUT 5000 DOLLARS! Don't ask...
Me: We got 100
Sealand: YUP! :D
Liechtenstein: I have golden toilet paper
Me: Weren't you going to sell that?
Liechtenstein: People didn't want to accept toilet paper as money...
HK: Boi, then why didn't you just kept it like normal toilet paper
Liechtenstein: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WIPE YOURSELF WITH TOILET PAPER MADE OUTTA GOLD?
Sealand: What do YOU know about that??
Liechtenstein: BECAUSE I TRIED!
Sealand: Woah woah woah... Girls pee?
Liechtenstein: We take shits too
Me: Omg
HK: Sealand omg
Sealand: THIS IS TOO MUCH TO PROCESS I'M SHOOK
Liechtenstein: WHAT DID YOU THINK WE DO IN THE BATHROOM?
Sealand: IDK MAYBE SING AND DANCE - SOME BROADWAY STUFF
Me: WAIT WAIT HOLD ON.... if nobody wanted to accept the toilet paper, then why use it here?
Liechtenstein: Because people in this country are stupid and they'll accept anything as long as it shines
Offensive but true...
So we all went to the airport and was walked up to some lady behind a counter
Me: Hi. 4 tickets to Mount Everest please
Lady: .... You need to tell me the country or city
Me: ......
Liechtenstein: .......
Sealand: I think it's in Asia
Me: Quick! In which country is Mount Everest, Hong Kong?!
HK: JUST BECAUSE I'M ASIAN DOESN'T MEAN I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ASIA YOU DILDO
Sealand: What's a dildo
HK: um... I THINK it was in Nepal...
Sealand: 4 tickets for nipple please! :D
Lady: Are you guys old enough to travel alone?
Us: ......
Liechtenstein: I have golden toilet paper
Lady: Okay! Have a nice trip!
So we did airport stuff and now we're on a plane
I still gotta tell everyone back at home that I took Sealand with me on a trip to climb the highest mountain in the world but I'm sure they won't mind ^^
Tomorrow we'll arrive! I'm so excited...this time, no sarcasm
-Birthday Boi
HHHHHHHH PHONE'S ON 2% I'LL FIX ERRORS OR ANYTHING TOMORROW
YOU ARE READING
Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer
FanfictionNorway gives Iceland a diary he bought at the dollar store for no reason in particular. Iceland starts writing in it out of pity, narrating his shitty life and awkward teenage adventures with his friends and the rest of the Nordics. And that's pret...
