Dear Diary:
Hong Kong came over today...
It wasn't a happy day at all..
So, we talked, mostly about my pregnancy...
And he was very serious and everything, until I showed him everything I bought (including some baby bottles and the clothes I knitted) and he... he looked pretty upset
Me: Why are you upset?
HK: .... It's nothing important
Me: If you say it, it instantly becomes the most important thing in the world to me. Say it, please
HK: ........ You want the truth?
Me: Sure
HK: ..................The baby's not real
Me: What- don't be stupid. I'm serious
HK: That pregnancy test... It was fake
Me: .......
HK: Guys can't have kids... No ovaries, you know...
Me: .................
HK: It clearly says so on the box too and I used one of those to prank Taiwan last year
Me: ............. Did she fall for it?
HK: No, she wasn't that stupid
AND I FUCKING FLIPPED EVERYTHING AND LOCKED MYSELF IN MY ROOM AND CRIED BECAUSE
A) IT WAS FAKE AND I REALLY GREW ATTACHED TO IT AND I WANTED TO SEE IT GROW AND BECOME A LAWYER AND DEFEND THE BEES OR SOMETHING
AND
B) I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOVE EVERYTHING UP MY ASS NOW BECAUSE THERE ISN'T A FLIPPIN BABY
I was crying so hard that Mr. Puffin got concerned and sat next to me in my emo corner
Mr. P: Hey, still can't think of a name for the thing? I thought of an amazing name! Wanna hear it?
Me: Not now-
Mr. P: Prick! Call it Prick
Me: MR. PUFFIN THE BABY WASN'T REAL IT WAS FAKE ALL ALONG
Mr. P: WHAT?! WHY WOULD THEY LIE TO YOU? I WANTED TO BE A FUCKING UNCLE THIS IS SO DEPRESSING
AND WE CRIED FOR A LONG TIME UNTIL I HEARD A very soft knock at the door
Me: If you're not Norway, come in
HK: .... Hi
Me: Hi
Mr. P: Hey big boy want som fuk
Me: GET OUT
HK: .....
Me: ......
HK: I'm sorry I didn't tell you but it was really funny at first
Me: ........You're not helping
HK: I know...
Me: .....
HK: But we got a dog son! Ain't that great?
Me: ... I suppose
HK: SO CHEER UP AND LET'S LISTEN TO SOME HAMILTON!
Me: Isn't that some kind of chocolate bar?
HK: ......... You are dead to me
And he left
So.... Everything is back to normal I guess...
.......
-Iceland?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- *gets shot again*
I think babies happen because of your ovaries... I don't know, don't really pay attention in my sex ed. class and I've never been pregnant so :|
YOU ARE READING
Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer
FanfictionNorway gives Iceland a diary he bought at the dollar store for no reason in particular. Iceland starts writing in it out of pity, narrating his shitty life and awkward teenage adventures with his friends and the rest of the Nordics. And that's pret...
