Iceland's Diary: It Began In Summer

Sunday, February 12

Dear Diary:

Something very weird happened last night

I woke up at 3 am or something and I suddenly felt like playing more Pokémon Go because idk

So I woke up Hong Kong

I have the right to do that

He looked like shit but I forgave him and dragged him outside

After a while of just sitting on a rock trying to wake up properly,  we grabbed our phones and we were in so much luck because there was a rare Pokémon in a cave nearby

So I said "why not" and walked in the cave

Now,  this is where the weird shit starts happening

As soon as we walked in,  there's this bright light shining right behind a rock

Hong Kong likes shinny things so he just walked up to it

I did too

But then suddenly,  we weren't in the cave anymore

It was a beach

A nice sunny beach

I wasn't really surprised,  but I was excited because I haven't seen a beach in a long time

So I said

Me: Sweet! A beach! Now we can just lay down,  relax,  swim or just make sandcastles

Hong Kong was also very excited and agreed

But... there was this weird shrimp truck following us in the shadows everywhere we went

ANYWAYS

We played around for a while,  I made a huge sandcastle- the best sandcastle in the world.  I got a reward for that

We bought the cringiest tourist shirts available and spoke in a horrible mix of unaccurate accents and bad English to bother the people there

Then we made out

BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO INTO DETAILS BECAUSE THAT'S EMBARRASSING

But I noticed after a while... everytime something great happened to me,  the shrimp truck got closer and closer

After a long day of just having fun there and all,  we sat down on a bench and ate some ice cream

We had a conversation

Me: It was a nice day

HK: Yes

Me: Do you know where we are?

HK: Ok

Me: .... yeah

I turned around and the truck was right there.  Behind me

Hong Kong noticed the truck too but didn't act surprised.  Instead,  he pointed out some weird letters on the door

I think it was Chinese or Japanese or... Russian

I have no idea,  they all look the same

He read it out loud.  I will never be able to write down what he said

So I asked him to translate it

He said

HK: It's Japanese for "All good things must come to an end"

I was confused

And I got run over by the truck

Hurray for accidents!

I "woke up" in a hospital

Thanks to the gigantic "WELCOME TO MONGOLIA" sign,  I noticed where I was

Some doctors came in the room and told me I was a very brave boy and that I could go home

But I told them that they were wrong. I was a girl

How dare they assume my gender,  right?

They shook their heads and told me that girls need surgerys,  and boys get to go home

I got a surgery performed by some apes.  And I died

That's when I actually woke up

In the cave

Hong Kong was really freaking out and shaking me like "boooiiiiiiii wake up"

He told me that I slipped and fell with some poop, hit my head against a rock and passed out

We went back inside to get some sleep but it was already morning

And the car was fixed

We drove back home and decided to never go on another road trip ever again

The end

-Is this real life?