Monday, May 1

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Dear Diary:

Today was one of those "Why can't I just get smashed by a plane" type of days for two reasons specifically

1) Somebody stole my phone charger and it's below 10%

I WANT TO SCREAM

2) I forgot to feed Mr. Puffin

"What's so terrible about that?" you may be asking. And that's actually a very good question, and a good question deserves a good answer

He tried to eat the cat

Woke up to some weird noise at 4

Turned the lights on

The cat's legs were in Mr. Puffin's mouth and he was trying to swallow them :(

He was meowing for help half dead and beaten up

Like what kind of living being beats up a poor cat and tries to eat it?!

Mr. Puffin is now in jail (his cage) with a plate of shit. Because you are what you eat. And he's SHIT

So I went to the vet and they told me he may die

What a way to start the week

Vet: Mr. Egbert-

Me: Emil

Vet: Your cat might die. Pay me and leave

LIKE EVEN THE CAT LOOKED SHOOK

WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET YOUR DEGREE AT? TIT SCHOOL?

Wasn't there a softer way to break the news? ;-;

......















Oh also I bought a new shirt. It's really fab haha

-Iceland









Can I plz end this book like tbh my mind is dry

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