The Rematch (Ziall Horlik)AU M-Preg

Chapter 44

Zayn's POV

The house was completely silent other than the soft whimpers of my daughter. She had just eaten an hour ago so I knew she definitely wasn't ready to eat again. I got out of bed and got her out of her cradle we had next to the bed still. I took her out of the bedroom so she wouldn't wake up Niall and took her downstairs with me. It was about three in the morning, but I had too much on my mind.

Eden was three weeks old now, but that only ment one thing to me. My fight with Liam was no longer months away. It was hours away. I held my daughter close to me and kissed her little head as I sat down in the living room on the couch. I looked over her tiny little face as she blinked at me. She had the same color eyes as Ezra and Niall. Her skin tone was close to being the same creamy color as Niall's was, but her hair was jet black like mine. She was a replica of Niall in nearly every way other than the shape of her eyes. I wasn't sure who's eyes she had because they weren't mine or Niall's. For some reason, they just really reminded me of my grandmother's eyes. They held happiness in them the second they opened to look at you. So in other words, my little girl that I had wanted for so long was beyond beautiful and the words perfect just weren't enough.

"Baba loves you." I whispered to her. She turned in my arms and went back to sleep. I  kissed her again before just looking over her sleeping face again. My heart was pounding heavily in my chest because of the nerves that were filling my body.

April 17th. The day I had been waiting for since I got told I could do it. The day that I could make all the wrongs made by Liam Payne right again. I had been training like crazy. There wasn't a moment that I wasn't doing something that helped me get into the shape I'm in now. Even though I was looking forward to this fight for reasons I had told myself were legitimate, I was literally holding a reason in my hands of why I was stupid for wanting to do this. I guess it only hit me the second I held my daughter that I really was done being a boxer. I was done with everything that used to make me live and breathe. It just took holding the most delicate thing in my hands to realize that. But seeing Harry holding her made me feel torn between what I was ready for and what I needed to do.

Harry couldn't hold her without sitting down and the help of Louis because his hands were too weak to hold the six pound new born. That made me feel even more ready to show Liam that he should have thought twice before doing what he did to my family. Then again, I saw Eden in his hands and thought of the possibilities that I won't even get to be lucky enough to walk out of that ring.

I put my marriage at risk for this fight. I could have lost the relationship I had with my two children for this. I almost lost the only man that ever treated me like a son. I could have lost everything for a single fight to get even. Looking at it now while holding my new born daughter makes me feel so childish and stupid. But I also feel that itch telling me I have one more fight in me. I know I do, but then I have to face what I'm going to do when the ring isn't a place that I live. When crowds no longer chant my name as I go in for a knock out. What do I have left after everything that became my normal changes? I have my family, but I don't have something that will ever make my blood pump the way he fight does. Even thinking about how I'm going to live without putting my gloves on makes me question if there is a point at all.

"Zayn? You should be asleep. You have your fight today." Niall's sleepy voice came from behind me. I held my daughter closer and told myself I had four reasons to live instead of one reason that involved my fists. I stood up and walked over to him. He gave me a worried look when we made eye contact.

"What do I do when it's over?" I whispered to him. I wasn't looking for the same answer that everyone gives me; spend time with your family. I wanted an answer that would give me a job that I could do.