My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

9/17/11

I just want to start by saying, HOLY CRAP, how did this reach 9500 reads? When I started this, I didn't expect it to reach 100. And nearly 250 comments! Whoa! I'm just so shocked and glad that I made it this far with this project. I don't think I've ever had enough determination to continue anything else this long. Buy despite all the times I've felt like giving up, both in writing and in life, I stuck with it, largely because of your encouragent. I wouldn't be the same person without you guys. Thank you all so, so much.

Also, speaking of continuity, it's been almost A YEAR. The anniversary of my first chapter of this story is wednesday. So special thanks to anyone who has been reading since then, or even since the halfway point, because I know it's hard to follow a story this long. But I promise I'll keep on writing, even if people stop reading, because I need to write for my own sanity. (that's a half truth; if no one reads then I'll start writing MUCH more infrequently, especially while school is in. But I will keep writing.)

Now that that's done, I need to apologize for dropping ( sidetrack: a group of teenage wannabe thugs are arguing outside my window. It's like 10:30 at night. And I just heard glass break. For a minute I thought they were stealing a car. Maybe they are. Creepy.) off the face of the earth for so long. Last weekend I just didn't have enough time or material to write about. But now I do! So here goes.

Let's start here: I'm about halfway through memorizing a monologue for class, and it's really fun. I like being onstage, as long as it's just my class in the audience. The only problem is, the biggest emotion in mine is passion, and I don't have enough of it to really portray it well. But my teacher said she would help us with that next week before out final performance.

On a related note, S and I are going to see Gypsy at a local theatre tomorrow, and we are super excited. It's one of my favorite movies, and I hope they do a good job.

Oh! More exciting news! We bought a car. And it is so pretty. It not new, and it isn't luxury, but it's a beautiful blue color, and very well taken care of. So when S and I get our licenses this summer, we will already be used to driving it.

Let's see, what else? Oh, I got a haircut. And let me tell you, it was an experience.

It was my first time getting my hair colored professionally, so that was a big thing in itself, but the best part was the people who did it. We went to a new place, a small shop on a side road. And the people there were so nice. Crazy, but nice. It's the type of place you think of when you think "hair salon". The workers were so helpful; they made sure we found the right color and helped us choose the best style, and it was great, because I am clueless when it comes to style. and it was so entertaining to talk to them.

Before we left they took pictures with us, and gave us hugs. The mother of the lady who owns the place gave us hugs, and it really made me miss my grandmother. But it was nice. And my hair looks SO much better now. It doesn't just hang like it used to, and it's a lot shorter. So that's good.

Also, teachers love me. I bring this up for two reasons.

1. My history teacher from last year was talking with our counselor, who we know pretty well from being in a club she sponsored last year, and they were joking about us, and they said that they both love S and I, which is a great feeling. My history teacher also likes our mom. She talked to her at registration this year, and it just made her like us even more. She's such a nice person. Also, my psychology teacher knows my name, which shocked me, because he's not one to really get to know the students, especially since it's a semester class, and I am really quiet in that class. But he said hi to me in the hall the other day, and it made me very happy, because he's one of the coolest teachers I've ever had.

2. There is one teacher I have that does not like me, and it bothers me to no end. But, shocker, it's the standard teacher. My creative writing teacher. She always tries to argue with not only me, but also my friend in that class, because we are the only ones that don't suck up to her. She's so nice to the standard kids. And it's even worse that there's this one girl who was friends with S last year but they got in a fight who is on our level but is always trying to be that teacher's best friend. It's creepy. Everyone loves that teacher though, because she is "fun". She paints on the walls and doesn't like tests and gives easy grades. And that's the kind of teacher I don't do well with. I take school seriously, and I expect teachers to do that too.

But I won't let it get me down! Teachers had something called inservice yesterday, so we had off school, and it was awesome. I love sleeping in on weekdays.

As you can probably tell, I have been feeling better. I've broken away from the depression a little, and now my biggest problem is stress. Nearly every night I have a meltdown and start crying in the middle of my homework because I don't think I can handle it.( sidenote: i think the fact that I've been crying is a sign that these feelings aren't related to the depression, they're just stress. Which is really good, because it passes much more quickly. I've found that recently whenever I'm sad, it's always for a normal reason.)

So that's my life right now. It's not perfect, but it's good.

Anyway, I'm currently so swamped with work that I wouldn't be surprised if I went completely insane. I just finished an essay, I have to memorize my monologue by Monday, I have to read 80 pages of a book by Wednesday, I have to finish a huge practice standardized test by Friday, and I have to do extra credit for Spanish because I suck at it. No me gusta. So wish me luck. Oh, and I have to write a review for gypsy. That should be fun.

I know as soon as I end this I'll think of something else I wanted to say, but my mind is blank right now. So thank you all once again, I couldn't do this without you. It feels great to have given a year of my live to something tangible, something that I can see and remember and look back on. But writing is nothing without readers, and you all have been wonderful to me this past year. I haven't gotten one mean comment yet, and hopefully I never will. I love you all. Thank you.

That's it! I'll try to be more punctual next week!

Goodbye!

"Starting now it's gonna be my turn, gangway world, get off of my runway! Starting now I bat a thousand. This time, boys, I'm taking the bows, and everything's coming up roses, this time for me!"

-Rose's Turn, Gypsy

I find these lyrics to be especially inspiring after I've had a bad day involving someone doing better than me at something, usually grades.