My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

2/10/11

Snow day! They make me happy!

So I got a comment from Actinconverse( I don't wanna type it all, so if anyone wants to read it, which you probably should since that's what this whole addition is about, just look at the comments on the last part) that really made me think, and I wanna share what I thought. So I'm gonna tell you in points.

Point one: candygrams.

My school used to do that to in middle school.( this makes me wonder how old you are, actinconverse. You seem older than that... But some highschools might do it too I guess.) gosh, I hated candygrams. There was one girl who got 30 in 6th grade. I only ever got one from this girl who sent them to all of her friends. Whom I later began to despise, if i remember correctly. But actinconverse said that all the guys wanted to send them, which is the opposite of what happened at my school. A lot of girls sent them to their friends, but guys thought they were stupid. A lot of people bought themselves one to get the candy, which I thought was the better way to do it. But I avoided them, because the cheerleaders sold them, and our middle school cheerleaders were terrible. I hated them. ( but if anyone reading this is not yet in highschool, I'd like to say that cheerleaders are not a big deal anymore, at least not here. But stay away from those band kids! ;))

Also, actinconverse mentioned that Sverige was single, which also makes me question the age of this commenter...;)

Point two: never talking about liking people.

This is difficult to explain. I don't know how much I wanna let out, because I'm afraid that someone I know will find this or read it one day. While it's true that everyone thinks about liking someone, as actinconverse said, ice always been afraid to admit to it. As I havementioned, I don't think I'm good enough, or pretty enough, for anyone. Which means I don't ever ever admit to liking someone, even to myself. And it hasn't helped that I've never had anyone to talk about it with. I've never been that close to any of my friends or family. It would take extreme closeness for me to feel cOmfortable enough to admit to something like that. I'm just that insecure.

I dont know how much to tell you. I don't really seriously like anyone right now.

But I would lIke to mention something. I think a lot of people get crushes because of how a person looks. When I get a crush on someone( it feels weird to say that; I dont think I've ever said it outloud) it's because of how that act. It's usually someone who's nice to me or talks to me, or who I've seen being nice to someone else. Also, it usually goes away when I find out that they are actually a jerk, or when they stop talking to me, which almost always happens. Almost.

Another thing, I know for a fact that I would get teased infinitely by my mom, S, and F5. Well, maybe not S. She would probably be sympathetic. That or vengeful for how much I teased her that one time a few months ago...( it's in one of the first parts I think). I mean, they already tease me a lot about F5. Both my mon and S think we will end up together. I'm not too sure about this theory. F5 is convinced he's always gonna be alone( which I don't think he believes. I think he's just insecure too.). But if he ever changed his mind... I dont know what I'd do. I'd have to think about it. But what am I thinking? He could do much better than me, and we both know it.

While I'm confessing, I should tell you... But maybe I shouldn't...

Ok. Gosh, this is hard to admit.

So back in 6th grade I was in choir and there were only a few guys, one of whom was F5. Me and this other girl and S would tease him a lot. ( I feel bad for it now, and I've apologized) Anyway, I had this other friend and me an S would go to her house a lot, like everyother weekend, and we talked about everything. She always had a crush on a different guy. But only in the ignorant sixth grade way. Thinking back, we were extremely naive. But our talks were nice. Although I didn't talk much, mostly S and the friend.( who I actually haven't talked to since seventh grade, but I hear she hasn't changed much.

Anyway, we were talking one time, and she admitted to having a crush on F5. She said he had always been nice. She's different from everyone. It seemed like she chose people randomly; she liked people who were mean to her too. But when she said that, I felt kinda... Jealous. I admit it. But I was only a sixth grader, and I was even less likely to admit it then than I am now.

Moving on!

Point 3: doing something brave for valentines.

Subpoint A:

Call me old fashioned, but I like the idea of guys asking out girls. Especially if it's the first ever date. It's just more romantic. ( I find it funny that when I was typing romantic, my iPod tried to autocorrect to insane :P) also, I would never ever be confidant enough to tell someone I like them, much less ask them out.

Subpoint B:

I'm kinda torn. Even if I like someone, I'm too young to date, by my own rule. Not till I can drive. Or he can drive. But I don't think I would date someone that much older than me that he could drive a long time before I could. I just don't think relationships before then have a point. Personally, I won't be ready for one until at least 16. And I don't think many relationships before then work out. Maybe I'm just jealous or something, but I really despise 11 year olds who think they're in love. It's just pointless. Maybe they will be in love one day, but I don't think we are mature enough yet. On the other hand, some people Marie faster than others. So I guess it depends on the person. Plus, I never had any friends that dated, so I've never been influenced to do it.

Point 4: writing every day.

I try. And I want to. But I have so much homework. And a lot of work besides that. But I agree that it is hard to keep writing if I don't do it everyday. The only problem is, I don't want it to feel like work, cuz then I just wanna stop doing it altogether. But if you want me too, I'll try. I usually have a little extra time after school. Except not Fridays. I have to go play with elementary kids :)

Point 5: I think Actinconverse needs to use more smileys :) just an observation. I like smileys.

So that's about it.

Thank you for the comment! And thank you all for reading! If I could figure out how to dedicate parts of a story to someone, this part would be dedicated to actinconverse. Thanks for the inspiration :)

Goodbye!

Ps: is anyone a fan of Avatar the Last Airbender? I love Zuko! But don't ever EVER go to fanfiction.com and look at the stories with Zuko and Sokka. Not only are they addicting, they are insanely creepy. One features Zuko as a circus freak kept in a cage and freed by Sokka who falls in love with him. Another is about them having a secret relationship, the getting married to girls who let them keep the relationship. Very. Weird. But well written, surprisingly.

Pps: the crossovers are pretty funny. Imagine putting the characters of you favorite show in the plot of your favorite book. It's awesome. I do believe I have a new guilty pleasure!

Bye!