My diary: an interactive project. Sort of.

6/3/11

This is going to be really short cuz I'm really running out of time, but I need to get this out.

A whole new level of anxiety has been reached. I am internally panicking.

F4 is having a birthday party with just me, S, and F3. No reason to panic, right?

Except for a few things:

1. We have to go out to eat. I'm usually fine eating in front of her, but I've never really met her family, and restaurants in general just freak me out. When I was little, I would rather sit in the car and cry than go into mcdonalds. I've gotten better, but eating in public around people I'm not entirely comfortable with still makes me nervous.

2. We have to stay the night. I absolutely hate staying at other peoples houses. Being around their families, especially fathers, in unfamiliar houses just freaks me out. I get really awkward and clingy. And everyone has different rules so I'm always scared that on of their parents will get mad at me. It's happened before, and that was the last time I went to her house.

3. We have to swim, which makes me nervous in itself, but then we have to shower. I'm not even comfortable taking a shower at my own house when friends are over! Seriously, this is the biggest one. I am so incredibly self conscious.

4. Her dad is freaking scary! He smokes, and he's really tall and he looks like he could step on me! Plus, I'm not really used to having guys in the house. It scares me.

Anyway, I just had to get that out. So wish me luck getting through this. I know this seems petty, and me grammar is atrocious, but forgive me? I'm really nervous.

Thank you all.

Goodbye.