Life, Lies and Really Hot Spy Guys

Chapter 17: My expectations weren't insane

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I looked at the Redbox movie selection, unhappy with the choices. I thought there would be better option especially since it was in the hospital. With a sigh, I decided to go for an action movie. With the movie in hand, I walked up the stairs of the hospital and down the halls with fake confidence as I tried to remember his room.

Within minutes, I was able to find it. I looked at the guard standing watch and showed him my badge. He nodded then opened the door, letting me enter the room. I walked into Auggie's room to find him asleep. His brown hair was a mess, some even covering his eyes. He had even started to grow some 5 o'clock stubble. I don't think I've ever seen him with stubble before. With it, he looked more mature. I wondered if he knew that.

As I climbed into the chair beside his bed, I felt the lump of paper in my pocket. I pulled it out and unfolded it. The words on the paper cut me deeper this time as I reread it. Toby was dating me for information, to keep an eye on me. They knew about B26, they wanted to stop him.

I frowned. I tried so hard to be a hard worker and do my job but this would impede all of it. I didn't want to get messed up into this. But somehow B26 chose me, barely 19 year old me. I shook my head, I didn't understand why. No one chose me, ever.

"What is that frown for?" Auggie said softly, making me jump.

I didn't realize he was up. I looked at him with a fake smile as I put the paper back into my pocket. "Nothing you should worry about."

"If it has you worried, I should be worried too."

I shook my head and gave a little laugh. If he knew about this, he would wish I never told him to begin with. "That's not how it works. First you need to get better," I said, using that as an excuse.

He nodded, taking it. Thank goodness. "What time is it?"

I pulled out my phone to check the time. "It's about 1:30."

He adjusted himself in the bed and patted his bed head down. "I must have fallen back to sleep. I did wake up early today," he said and groaned as he woke up more. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting."

I smiled lightly. That was the least of my problems. "You're fine."

There were a few minutes of silence as we both got stuck in our own thoughts.

"Have you guys found Tobias yet?" Auggie asked with hatred in his voice.

I cringed at the sound of his name. There was so much emotion around it. I rather not hear it. "Can we not talk about that?" I begged. I didn't want to be reminded that I trusted the wrong person. Once again, messing up.

He frowned but nodded. He wanted to know, but he knew when to drop it. "Sure." He was silent for a moment as he grabbed my hand for support. I intertwined my fingers with his and felt the heat from his hand transfer to mine. I didn't want him to let go. "You know, he had us all fooled."

I shook my head. But I was around him the most. He was my boyfriend for months. I knew him. At least I thought I knew him. I was the one that failed, I should have seen this from a mile away.

"Don't beat yourself up," he said and gave my hand a light squeeze.

I frowned at him, unable to hold the tears back in my eyes. "I feel like a failure," I said honestly. And just like that, all my walls and fake confidence that I wore like a crown came crumbling down. No one had see this side of me and in this moment, I didn't care if Auggie saw. I was so tired of all these emotions being hidden, I needed to talk about them to someone.