the dollhouse | h.s.

sixty two

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Harry
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The unforgettable feeling of guilt is never-ending as it continues to invades my thoughts. As a careless person, I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. But I can't help it. I know I've been lying, and I've been lying to the person I love most in this world: Holly. It will never make me feel okay. But, I know everything will turn out alright.

By now, I can tell Holly knows of my lies. She knows I haven't been acting like myself lately, she knows I haven't been paying much attention to her, and she knows I haven't actually been seeing Zayn for the past two weeks, like I've been falsely telling her. But she's not an angel, although her innocent beauty can be deceiving. I know she's been seeing Elsie whilst I've been seeing 'Zayn' AKA Lauryn.

I'm surprised that Holly, being the curious and nosy person she is, hasn't asked any questions as to why Elsie and I were so uncomfortable when we had our first encounter at the Café a few weeks ago. The reason I was so awkward and uncomfortable was because I thought Elsie was gone for good. I thought she had moved to her little Parisian art school and had nothing to do with me, Zayn, Holly or anybody... But, I guess my predictions were incorrect. Elsie was still well and alive and living in London.

I have to say, I am a bit worried about what Elsie's been putting into Holly's head. I know Elsie, I have known her for a while, ever since she first became Zayn's doll. In fact, I know Elsie very, very well.

Anyway, enough about Elsie. I don't want anything to do with her. Back to Holly. I miss being with her. I miss having endless conversations about the dumbest things. I miss her curiosity. I miss her. I miss Holly.

I guess I'll just keep having to tell myself what Lauryn has been telling me: 'You only know what you've been missing when you receive what has been waiting.'

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Juliet
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"Louis and Niall have been wondering, too. They've called a few times," I say, "I'm not the only one who's worried and wondering about Holly and Harry."

Lola, Dakota, Macy and Liz all groan for what seems like the fifth time this morning. I can't help but continue to worry about Holly and Harry. Hell, I've even been writing in my journal my feelings about them leaving. Their sudden absence came as a terrible surprise to the girls and I, but as few weeks go by, the wonder of it all seemed to vanish. Well, for them. I, for one, still worry and wonder. It just never fails to surprise me how Harry could leave the girls and I. Especially me. I know he has such a great connection with me and it breaks my heart how he could just throw that away in an instant.

As Lola pours milk into her bowl of chocolate cereal, she mocks me by immaturely saying, "Oh no! Harry ran away from me! He left me! Why would Holly do this! Not to me... Oh no!"

I don't bother responding to Lola's childish remarks, instead I just stare down at the marble bench and ignore her.

"Don't be so rude, Lola." Macy says as she drags her fluffy, pink slippers across the polished floorboards. Macy let's out a tired yawn as she reaches for the carton of milk left on the bench. "Also, you're just overthinking things, Jules. No one else is as worried as you."

"Mace, I just said before that Louis and Niall are even worried, too. I'm not the only one." I say as I hop off the bench stool.

Walking over to Dakota in the living room, I hear a loud, obnoxious laugh coming from the kitchen. I can already detect who is laughing. Lola. Oh, how annoying she is.

Walking back into the kitchen, I see Lola reading something aloud.

"I thought Harry would eventually see the light and notice me. But no. Out of all people, he chose to fall off the face of the Earth with Holly. I've never felt so betrayed. Lola says I've been acting like a drama queen. The other girls have my back. I'm just so frustrated." Lola reads aloud whilst holding back laughter.