Camping trip - Tom Kaulitz

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓯𝓽𝔂 - 𝓯𝓲𝓿𝓮

(TW! SELF HARM!)

*MEANWHILE WITH ALISON*

ALISON'S POV:

I came home with mascara smudged all over my face. I hate that my whole family is home. That means getting a lot of questions and I'm too tired to answer those. 

I opened the front door quietly not wanting to make much noise. My parents were in the living room laughing at a funny TV show. I wiped some makeup away trying to not look sad. The stairs were across the living room which ment that I'll have to walk past them. I need to be ready for everything. I'm not gonna tell them that I had a secret relationship with my mother bestfriend's son and that it didn't turn out as planned. I'm just gonna pass them normaly avoiding eye contact.

"You're home early." My dad said as I started walking towards the living room avoiding eye contact. Both of them were staring at me expecting me to start a whole ass conversation. I wasn't in the mood to start it, I can't even start it. My voice is broken and every time I try to talk I just feel like shedding even more tears than I already did. I hate being in this situation.

I continued walking towards the stairs my face finally out of their view. "Yep." I answered dryly. My voice was raspy. "It was boring there." My feet finally met the first step as I tried to fasted my speed. 

My mother looked behind me a bit confused by my actions. "Did something happen?" My mom called behind me.

I shook my head rushing upstairs. "Just tired." I answered continuing to walk up the stairs quickly wanting to get away as soon as possible. When I finally got upstairs I heard some voices. great. My sister's boyfriend was over. He's a great guy but I can never have a decend conversation with him. He gets along really good with Tom. At every family gathering they always talk as if they've been bestfriends their whole life.

I quietly walked towards my bedroom door getting inside and locking the door behind me. I waited a few seconds before blowing out a shaky breath and dropped on the floor. My back leaned against the door as I felt the cold wood against my skin. The dress I wore was so uncomfortable. It looks great on my body but the fabric is horrible aswell with the wat it's designed. I kicked my heels off of my feet feeling my eyes well up again. This day is so horrible, I hate it. I hate everything about today. 

My jewerly was next. I stood up and walked up to a drawer in the corner of my room. I un-did my necklace and placed it on the top of the wood reaching for my earrings next. I held them in my hand staring at them getting a flashback of Tom. He gave these to me some time ago. They're beautiful but now I just want to throw them out of the window for reminding me of such a memory. He brought me flowers that day aswell. I felt a tear run down my cheek as I sucked in my lips and threw them across my room. I need to get my mind off of him. 

I glanced at my bedroom window before getting that damn dress off. It was such a relief when it finally got off, I've been waiting to do that since I wore it. I left it on the floor as I stumbled towards the bathroom. By this time my cheeks were already wet from all the tears that came after I got in this room. 

I turned on the shower and locked my bathroom door. I don't really know why I'm locking it since my bedroom door is locked aswell. I put off my underwear before looking up. My eyes met with my reflection and I took some time staring at myself. I look like a total mess. My hair is fucked up, my makeup also, my body is looking chubby and my eyes are puffy from crying. I breathed in before walking to the shower. 

The warmth of the water met my cold body and for a second everything went away. I stood under the shower letting the water wash all of the bad memories off of my body but I couldn't help and get even more sad memories in my head. Knowing that me and Tom had fucked here makes me shiver. I want to cry again. I took a shampoo bottle squezzing some out on my hand before inserting it in my hair. I let it sit for a minute before shampooing my whole body. I usually love showers but at this moment all I could do is hate them. 

I took a razor off of a small shelf. I slowly pulled the razor up my leg trying to be carefull. Sudenly I felt a small pain a bit lower from my knee. The pain I had before was replaced with this type of pain making it feel nice for a second. I looked down at my knee seeing a small amout of blood gushing out of the cut. I took the razor off of my leg looking at my wrists. 

I stared at them for what felt like ages before bringing the razor up to the skin on my wrist. 

I slid it across the skin to the left feeling the pain go through my body again. The feeling sent my worries away for a minute making me satisfied. I breathed in as I continued creating another mark across my skin.

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