Camping trip - Tom Kaulitz

𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓲𝔁𝓽𝔂 - 𝓼𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷

TOM'S POV:

I went upstairs to where the bathroom was at. I needed to find Alison, I need to make things right with her. She's the most important thing on this whole world for me. If I can't find her I'll probably just stay by the front door untill she decides to go back to the garage.

I came upstairs and instantly looked towards the bathroom as I saw the light switch turned on. I stared at it for a moment thinking if its my mom or my precious baby. My feet tapped against the wooden floor as I rewinded everything back in my head from when I came inside. My step-dad was sitting in the kitchen eating some sort of shit put on a plate. Probably one of his vegan dishes that always smell bad when someone enters the house. He said hi to me before I went upstairs and that's where I am right now. It would've ended bad if I walked in on my mom but on the other side, Alison may be in there and not her. 

I started chewing on my bottom lip before deciding. I'm going in.

I aproached the door and took a deep breath before opening it. I looked inside noticing a pair of brown eyes staring right through mine. I instantly relaxed seeing that it's Alison who I'm looking into. Those dark eyes that I could stare into forever if I could. She looked so beautiful. 

"Al." I breathed out a heavy breath as my eyes fell down to what she was doing. I noticed the way she was gripping the sleeves of her jacket which made me furrow my eyebrows for a second. Is she scared of me or something? I don't want her to be scared around me. I want her to feel safe.

"Could you please leave?" I heard her quiet tone making me look up at her meeting those beautiful eyes again. My heart fluttered. How did I survive a month without her? 

I stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door behind me, not breaking eye contact. "I seriously can't like this anymore." I said inching forward to touch her but she stepped back. "I miss you."

She turned her head away from me breaking our eye contact. No, no, no. "Leave me alone Tom." Alison said in a quiet tone. I want to hug her, touch her, kiss her, I want us back. I can't keep looking at us both this way.

I looked down at the sink, thinking about what to say to make her get back with me. My eyes travelled across the things set on the sink. Hand warmers, unused bandages, a pair of bloody bandages. I stared at those. What's going on? What the fuck is she hiding? My mind swam to all sorts of stuff. Did she get injured? Did someone hurt her? Did she hurt herself? "What's that." I reached towards the bandages as I felt my hand get pulled away from it.

"Leave." She said now facing me, worry written all over her face. 

"Alison," I looked down at her hands but the jacket still covered them enough. Fuck, fuck, fuck. fuck! This isn't happening. "What the fuck are you hiding?"

She twitched at the roughness of my tone. I wasn't gonna fuck around. I'm not stupid to not know what's going on. "Please Tom just leave me alone." She releashed her hold on my hand and I noticed the way she pulled her sleeve up again.

I stepped forward getting closer to her. I didn't take my eyes off of her as I spoke. "Show me your arms."

"Can you not-"

"I'm not gonna ask you again Alison." I took another step making her step back as her back hit the wall. She was still hiding those arms behind the sleeves. "Show me your hands or I'll look at them myself." My voice was demanding and quite loud.

She looked away from my eyes. "Just leave-"

I shook my head before looking down at her arms. I grabbed one of those by her elbow and pulled it forward to me.

"Stop it Tom!" She yelled trying to pull it away but it was too late. I pulled the sleeve up and I felt the guilt build in my stomach. The scars, the blood, her beautiful skin. It was all torn appart. Am I the cause for this? Did she do this to herself because of me? I didn't want to know. I want these scars to be gone. I want all the sadness and anger in me gone. It's your fault. I don't want to know that yet the voices kept repeating. 

Her quiet cries were heard all over the room as she finally pulled her hand away and tried running outside the bathroom. I was traumatised, sad, furious, tired. 

I didn't know what to do. "Alison!" I yelled her name as I grabbed her wrist just before she could go out. The way she winced at the pain scarred me forever. "Shit." I let go off her arm and grabbed her hand instead, pulling her back inside. 

I kicked the door shut with my leg as I looked at her face. I finally held her yet this wasn't the way I imagined it. I wanted to hold her while she was happy and in love with me not when she was crying and almost hated me for my whole existance. My hands travelled to her cheeks as I pulled her closer to my face and wiped those tears away. She should've never cried. Those eyes of hers don't deserve to produce any tears of sadness. 

My eyes started welling up aswell at the sight. "Shhh, don't cry. Please." I whispered trying to wipe those endless tears. I want her to be happy, safe and healthy. I hated seeing her like this. "Look at me Alison." She didn't budge. Her eyes were glued shut as more and more tears began to flow. "Look at me!"

Her glossy eyes opened and she looked at me. Puffy, sad eyes. I didn't like that. She is too gorgeous to be crying because of this. We stared at each other as I held her close before I couldn't hold it anymore. Tears started falling down my cheeks as I wrapped my hands around her and pulled her in my embrace. This was too much for me to handle. 

"Am I the reason Al? I don't want to be the reason. I love you." I said quietly trying to connect the words so they would make sense. I shoved my face in her hair as I sobbed. She was quiet all the time not even hugging me back. It was my fault. Why did I dance with Claire that day? Why did I go to homecoming? Why didn't I do something before it was too late? I wish I went back in time. I wish I had stopped this before it begun. 

"I'm sorry." Her whisper echoed through my ear as I looked at her again. Both of our eyes filled with tears and sadness now. I just want this relationship to be normal. I leaned in and kissed her letting all of my sadness and love into the kiss. This was all I needed. To feel her lips again. I could kiss as many women as I want  but none of them compare to Alison. 

"I never kissed Claire. I swear to fucking god that she kissed me. I pushed her away right after that." I pulled away from the kiss looking at her. Her eyes were filled with sadness, hurt and something else I couldn't quite figure out. I miss looking into eyes filled with happiness. "I just want us to be okay again."

She nodded before looking down and wipping her tears away with her back of her sleeve. "I'm tired." Was all she said. I'd do anything that'll help her get better again.

"You'll sleep here. I don't care what anyone says." I kissed her again but this time a shorter kiss. "Let's just.. put the bandages on first." My stomach turned with guilt at the thought of that. 

It was my fault for all of that.

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