I know that I'm a side character in his story..
He's friends with everyone and a literal sunshine
He's a social butterfly & everyone likes him
He's hot, girls are dying to date him
He's so kind that you can literally call him an angel
His voice i...
How I treated hyunjin for the whole year. I shouldn't have avoided this. I should've have asked to explain things when we were 10. Then he wouldn't hate himself this much. He wouldn't be this desperate to die.
For the 1st time in my life I feel like shit.
These 'College sunshine' 'College angel' are bullshit. I just made a person so depressed that he fucking wants to die.
But I'm not shitting myself over past.
'I. Will. Make. Things. Right.'
Just you wait hyunjin I will change you. I will make you laugh and smile like I used.
To do this I need know why the fuck he wanted to die so desperately. Surely he was always alone when we were kids too. But he never wanted to die.
I will wait until he opens up to me.
"I'm sorry hyunjin" i said after figuring out things. And i just realised I spaced out for 5 min straight.
"Why the fuck your saying sorry?" He asked and looked away.
"I said those things without knowing what you were going through. I know i haven't felt pain as much you felt. But I do know, what it feels like to lose someone important" i said and I gave a sad smile to him.
"That's the thing felix i never had someone important well except when we-" he cleared his throat and stopped what he was saying before.
"Forget it. It's pointless anyway" he said.
"Fine. If you wanna be stubborn then we're doing things my way" i said
"What?" He asked
"If you feel so guilty about my father's death and feel sorry for me then stay alive for next 2 year's" i said cuz I don't have any choice but to use this.
"That's fucking crazy. What does that have anything to do with me dying-" he continued his rambling.
"Hyunjin please I'm just asking you 2 year's. I'm not even asking an explanation about why you wanted to die and exactly what was there in that letter. I will wait until your ready. Just do this for me" i asked him so desperately.
"You lived your 9 years of life because of me and I want you to live another 2 years for me. If you don't want to live for yourself then live for me" gosh I don't know what to do if he is not convinced by this.
"I-i..shit I'm gonna regret this but fine only 2 years" he said while closing his eyes tight as if he is regretting it already.
"But promise me you will leave me alone after that" he whispered slowly.
"I promise" i said confidently.
---------
Hyunjin pov
I got ready for the college today pretty early. I am curious why felix is so desperate for me to live. I'm so not ready for this.
"What is wrong with you today" jisung asked, eyeing me up and down.
"What? What's wrong? nothing's wrong" i shrugged.
"No,when you came back to dorm yesterday your eyes were so red that anyone would think you were crying for weeks and now you're all ok?idk what's going on with you?" he asked.
"Jisung I told you to not ask about yesterday" i said.
"Ugh Fine. I won't ask you if you're still not ready" He said
"Thanks" i replied and we went to class after that.
I went to class and sat on my chair. Felix still didn't arrive.
Everyone was busy doing their own things. Seungmin and jisung are playing rock paper scissors? God they must be doing this as a bet for 'who buys coffee'
And finally Felix arrived and why does he look extra hot today?
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(This is felix look from head to toe)
'OMG HE LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT!!!! I CAN'T SIT BESIDE HIM TODAY HE IS TOO SEXY THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME!!!!'
"Hiiiii jinnieee" he shouted from the door entrence.
WTF? everyone's .exe. stopped working for a second, even mine. Even jisung and seungmin mouth were wide open.
He came running to me like a little excited kid. "How are you jinniee? I missed you!!" He said and everyone is looking at us damn it.
"We literally saw each other yesterday felix" i blurted out.
"Jin-what??" Seungmin asked. As he was the one to come out the shock.
"And you met lix yesterday hyunjin???" Jisung asked after seungmin.
"Fuck" i blurted out
"It's 'jinnie' seungmin. It is my nick name to hyunjin. It's cute right??" Felix said to seungmin.
"And yes he was with me yesterday" felix shrugged by saying this to jisung.
"Till midnight?" Jisung asked
"Wrong, it was past the midnight" he said smiling.
'Fucking shit Felix. This is fucked up'
I never felt this happy when professor showed up. Finally everyone turned away from us. But I know we can't avoid these curious people just like that.
I opened the last page of my book and wrote "what were you thinking??why did you talk to me?" And gave the book to felix who sat just beside me.
"What? i thought we made up after 9 years? Am i not supposed to talk to you?" And he wrote this shit.
"But no one knows about what happened between us!! Everyone only knows that you hate only one person in this world and that is 'me'. How can you suddenly talk to me like we've been friends for years?? and what's with 'jinnie' suddenly? You didn't call me that yesterday" I gave the book to him angrily.
"I mean we can explain it's no big deal. And of course i will call you jinnie from now on just like before..." he's unbelievable.
"No shit Sherlock. You can't explain this shit. Cuz no one knows I'm an orphan. And I don't want people to know. They already piss me off enough, i don't want to give other reasons for them to pick on me more" i wrote this gave to him.
He frowned after reading this.
"I didn't know that sorry" he whispered to me.
"What are we gonna say about the 'past midnight thing' you blurted out??" I asked
