Emptiness (Hyunlix)

chapter 11( ji-ho)

Hyunjin pov

These kids are the only reason I still come to this orphanage. They make me feel better. Maybe they will also hate me when they grow up. But at least until then I want to spend time with them. Cuz They are the only ones where I can be myself.

I'm giving all the gifts i brought for the kids. They're so excited for that. After a while I was playing with kids.

Ji-ho is playing with my hair for a quiet time now. God She really loves my hair. She always does this Whenever I came to play with them.
(I'm ji-ho , ji-ho is me🌚)

I laughed at ji-ho as she made funny hairstyle. Then I saw someone that i didn't want to.

It's felix. Our eyes met.

We stared at each other for a good time now.

'WTF WHY IS HE HERE??HE NEVER CAME TO THE ORPHANAGE AFTER THAT DAY!!!WHY IS HE HERE NOW SUDDENLY??'

Then i saw his grandmother with him. Oh now I get it. Yes i met her many times when I came to visit the kids. She was taking care of everyone here ever since I was a kid.

All more reason to hate myself even more. Don't get me wrong she was never bad to me. She always tried to take care of me. It's just I was the one who was bad to her. Whenever I see her i will get flashbacks of that day and it just makes me feel like shit. Like it's better if i didn't exist in the 1st place.

'If i didn't exist that accident wouldn't happen'
'If  i didn't exist felix wouldn't be this traumatized'
'If i didn't exist 'he' would still be alive'
'If i didn't exist Felix family wouldn't had to go through that'

Tears were threatening to fall from my eyes. This guilt is killing me after seeing felix at the same place. But ji-ho stopped me from crying right there.

"Why are you sad jinnie?" she asked me as she cupped my cheeks with her tiny little hands. And she is also pouting.

This action made me laugh. Hah this is why I love kids. They're too innocent and don't see a person's background to make them feel loved.

They will just love you if you're sweet to them.

I giggled and said "it's nothing ji-ho I'm fine"

And then she pinched my cheeks and played with my hair again by ruffling it aggressively.

"You look like a dumpling jinnieee heheeh" she said and laughed.

"Do i?" i fake gasped "Omg are you going to eat me now??" I asked her by giggling.

"Nooo I won't eat jinnieee! your face is too big than a dumpling" she said and laughed.

I was so focused on ji-ho's cuteness that i almost forgot about felix i turned to look at him and he is staring at us.And i really can't describe that look on his face.Is he smiling? Idk it seems to have more meaning than that.

Felix pov

Did i just see hyunjin with that sad expression. I swear I saw his eyes watery.Right now that girl is playing with him again.

"You look like a dumpling jinnieee" she said and laughed.

I 100% agree with her, he looks so squishy right now that I just want to-

"Do i?"
"Omg are you going to eat me now?" he asked the girl and giggled.

'Yes Hyunjin I was about to say that, i would very much like to eat you'

I smiled at them.

You can say this smile is a mixture of adoration and lust.

He looked at me again.

I was about to turn away and get away from them. Soon my grandma called me.

"Lixie I just greeted the staff here and I will give brownies and cookies for the kids now, can you help me dear?" She asked and she was about to go to the kids but she saw hyunjin and he saw her too.

She gave a weak smile to hyunjin. And hyunjin bowed to her as she came near to him.

"How are you dear?" she asked by smiling.

Hyunjin let out a shaky breath and said "I'm fine grandma thank you"

He looked at me for a second and again turned back to her.

"I will go now you guys can spend good time here" he said and was about get up from his place.

"You don't need to go hyunjin we don't have any problem of you staying here" my grandma said that to him.

"It's ok grandma I can leav-" he tried to protest this. But that girl cut him off.

"Noooo jinnieee don't gooo, noooo jinnie has to play with me moreee" ji-ho cried after saying that.Soon all the kids cried. They're shouting and crying saying 'jinnieee don't go' 'jinnieee stay'. All of them hugged him and tried to get him to not go.

He gave up and said "FINE I can never win against you little demons"

All of them laughed, even my grandma. Except me and hyunjin, we are looking at each other again.

                             ---------

Hyunjin pov

I'm really not ok now. How can I?
When felix is smiling this cutely. The kids were scared of him at first. It was really funny.

"Granny who is he?" Ji-ho asked as she was hiding behind me. All kids are behind me. They were just shy now. They're always shy when they meet new people.They were just shy until felix started talking.

"Hiiii kiddos I'm felix you can me lixie" felix said very excitedly.

But no one expected to hear the kids to cry.

Heehee can y'all guess why the kids started to cry??😔