Emptiness (Hyunlix)

chapter 15

Hyunjin pov

'Why? WHY??JUST WHY DID HE DO THAT?'

Yongbok's father caught up to me and pushed me away from the line. But that man didn't get enough time to move away. As the truck hit him. All the blood splashed on my face and i was just beside that fast moving truck.

My whole body felt numb. I had no strength to get up.

Until i heard yongbok yelling, who was on the other side of the fast moving truck

"DAD!!!!"

The truck left and now I can look at yongbok who knelt down straight opposite to me on the other side of road.

I looked at yongbok who was horrified at what he saw. His eyes widened at the site.

He ran to other corner and throwed up by closing his ears with his hands. I wanted to disappear by seeing his state.

I heard the yongbok family shouting something and saw many people gathering here until i blacked out.

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When I woke up i didn't know what happened afterwards. After a few days i heard that all of Yongbok's family went back to Australia except his grandma.

(Now it's back to the present)

Felix pov

"I was supposed to die that day felix not your father" he said as his body was shaking at the memory

"What? hyunjin that isn't what i meant-" he cut me off by saying "it's ok felix. The only reason I'm alive now is to apologize to you"

"I know I don't deserve your forgiveness and but i owe you an apology" he said and looked away from me.

"I regret not paying attention to uncle who caught up to me"

"What? no that's not-"

"I regret not pushing him away when he pushed me"

"I regret that i didn't run fast so he wouldn't catch up to me and end up like that"

"Hyunjin just listen to me"

"If I just told you guys that everything was ok and i just wanted to be alone, you guys wouldn't run after me.Then i could've died without no one knowing"

"No stop saying that-"

"I regret i couldn't control my emotions and made a scene that day-"

He was saying things continuously even though I'm telling him to stop.

'That's enough i can't just fucking sit and listen to this anymore. Fuck it'

I got up and knelt down infront of me and cupped his face in my hands. I brought his face near mine away from the wall he was leaning and made him look at me.

"Look. At. Me. Hyunjin." I said sternly.

He lifted his eyelids up and looked at me. I stared right into his eyes without looking away.

"Yes, i blamed my father's death on you but i didn't want you to die that day too"

"If you didn't run away and told us what was wrong maybe it could've been ok. Maybe we would've helped you whatever was wrong with you that day"

"My father really cared about you, he looked after you like you're his own son. He could've done anything to help you"

"Dying wasn't the right option hyunjin"

"When I asked if you regret it or not? I didn't mean of you dying instead of my father"

"I meant that, do you regret that you wanted to die?"

I said to him as my own tears were flowing out and falling on his cheeks as I looked down on him.

He lifted his hand up slowly and rubbed my tears away.

"Yongbok-ah i would've done it if it was that easy" he said as a tear rolled down his cheek.

He took my hands away gently and stood up. I was surprised of what he did. And he walking near the edge of balcony.

'No'

He turned back and sat on the wall and smiled at me saying "I'm sorry yongbok-ah"

In slipt of a second i ran towards him. I caught his hand while he looked up shocked that I was this fast.

"Please let me go. I can't do this anymore. Its so hard to live" he said like he was begging me to leave.

"NO HYUNJIN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?"

"Please i want to end this. I apologized to you and there is nothing left for me here" he said by hitting on my hands which were holding his hand.

I didn't know what to do. I just said something stupid without even thinking properly.

"That doesn't mean i forgive you! You want me to forgive you right? Then make it up me !! Until then i won't let you die!! not this easily!!"

"What-" he started talking again.

"Let me help you first" i said sternly.

I pulled him up finally.

I looked at him standing in front of me. Suddenly i burst out crying. And i hugged him so tight.

'He's still alive'

Hyunjin pov

Felix is hugging me so tight like he didn't want me to go like i would disappear if he didn't hold me. I hugged him back. Patting his back gently trying to stop his crying.

He looked at me as he tip toed and leaned his forehead on mine. And whispered

"Please don't do that again jinnie please I'm begging you"

'He called me jinnie again, it feels so good to hear him calling me that again'

"I can't promise you that felix" i said as i hugged him even tight.

After what seemed like forever he calmed down.

Felix looked at me

"If you lived for 9 years just to apologize me....then try to live until our college ends"

"That means try to live for another two years" he said

"Why are you doing this felix? My existence killed your father!! Why are trying to save me??Stop being kind for someone like me" i said as i felt overwhelmed by what felix said.

"I'm one of the reason you want to die today. I'm one of the people who have shown you hate. I'm one of the reasons for your guilt. I have never shown you any care that you deserved as a friend. But jinnie I want to show you that there are people that want you to live"

"There are people that love you"

He said that by smiling.

"No, I was telling this myself for 19 years of my life but this is useless. You have no idea how it feels to live like this felix" i snapped at felix by saying this.

"You were always surrounded by people who loved you and never felt what it feels like to be hated by just existing. You don't know how it feels when the only person who is kind to you... starts to hate you...you don't know how it feels when all you want to be is a good friend for that one person but fate is so bad that you only brought a lifetime pain to that person..and for god's sake that's you! You're the only one and I just made you feel pain"

"I'm afraid my existence will scar you"

Who cried for the last sentence 🥹??

I was bawling eyes out while writing this 😭✋