(Drowning Series - Book One)
Alexandra Ariana Marino; The first born girl in three generations, known as the girl who always smiles and lights up her family's life.
Suddenly tragedy takes hold of her and she loses both of her parents right in fron...
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Alexandra Ariana Marino
Friday December 8, 2023
It is almost laughable how easy it is for you to paint a smile on your face and all of a sudden everyone thinks you're better. As if a couple therapy sessions that you were forced into so you could appear 'normal' suddenly cured you from the thoughts that have roamed free in your head for the last eight or so years.
Matteo has been trying to get closer, he comes in my room every night and plays music on his guitar or keyboard, just simple little lullabies that he once sang to me when I was a kid, and yet it still feels like I'm keeping him at arms length even if I don't mean to do it.
However since he started singing to me, my nightmares don't seem as bad... Sure I still have them but at least I don't wake up in a cold sweat.
Although sometimes I feel trapped in the same cycle of abuse so I'm not sure that's the best either... I'm honestly not sure what I want these days.
I didn't expect to make it this long so I never panned this far ahead.
Anyway, I'm not sure what to make of Lucius, he's here all the time but I'm struggling to get a solid read on him... One minute he feels angry and the next it appears that he's walking on egg shells around me or perhaps I'm reading too much into it which is a possibility.
I should really talk to him about it, it would make things a lot easier in the long run, but I fear making him even more angry then he already is. I wouldn't hold it entirely against him if he had some form of resentment against me for what happened to Jasper, I'm still coming to terms with the idea that it wasn't my fault so I won't hold it against him if he blames me.
Sometimes it's easier to find someone, anyone, to blame when shit goes south, even if the anger is misguided... I would understand.
Obviously Dante is always here since our Grandparents gained guardianship of him as well, and Alessio is mostly always over here, thought Gio has custody of him still as per fathers wishes our Nonno told him that he can come and go as he pleases and if our eldest brother gives him any problem over it then he was going to contact the same person that helped him easily obtain custody of Dante and I.
I think my grandparents mostly fear letting their son down and want to try to follow their wishes to the best of their abilities.
Romeo has been quite busy these days, if he's not working his shift at the hospital then he is at the warehouse patching Jasper up.
The last I heard they found him alone in some moldy motel in the next city over and a group of Giovanni's men that have kids of there own have decided to make Jasper into their own personal punching bag with the approval from our grandfather.
