(Drowning Series - Book One)
Alexandra Ariana Marino; The first born girl in three generations, known as the girl who always smiles and lights up her family's life.
Suddenly tragedy takes hold of her and she loses both of her parents right in fron...
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Alexandra Ariana Marino
Saturday October 14, 2023
My Nonna's mama used to say I was mature for my age, she passed a few years ago, and I always hated that phrase.
I never asked to grow up or be mature, I just wanted a childhood that was ripped away from me without a second thought. I didn't ask to be mature, I think it was some form of prophesy and I really had no choice in the matter.
Being 'mature for my age' made me lose friends as we no longer connected in the way we once did, our values shifted and we no longer had the same end goals or aspirations anymore.
I may have been 'mature for my age' but in reality I was forced to grow up far quicker than most kids my age, sure I was 'mature' but all I ever learned from the new-found maturity was loneliness.
All I found was an empty house filled with broken promises.
All I found was lost dreams and violet skin.
All I found was self-destruction.
I know most people don't like me, I know they probably don't like me because of the lies other tend to spill and after all they never stopped to think about my side of the story, but it's okay. I don't think I need to tell my side, I think when the time is right the truth will come out all on its own.
Until then, I could write it on paper, pretend like my world isn't in shambles, and go on with my day. Would anyone even listen if I spoke the honest reality of the lies they spun over the years?
Something tells me they won't.
I was born in a room full of people, surrounded by tears of love, I lived in a warm house filled with joy until that warm home turned icy cold. I will die alone.
I've almost come to peace with that depressing fact the first time I lost the right to my own body.
I think damaged people may be dangerous as they have learned how to make hell feel like home, and they don't know where the front door lies.
I'm told that I'm strong.
That if I can survive a crash that killed my parents and almost took the life of my cousin, then I can survive anything.
However, there is always a limit to how strong you can be, and no matter how strong you appear, complete isolation will destroy the last pieces of yourself because nobody is stronger that pure loneliness, it's one of those things that just break you beyond repair.
I remember how warm and full of joy my house seemed when my parents filled it with never ending love.
I never thought a house that closely resembled a museum could ever feel like home but this one once did, but now I appear to be homesick for a place that no longer exists.
