(Drowning Series - Book One)
Alexandra Ariana Marino; The first born girl in three generations, known as the girl who always smiles and lights up her family's life.
Suddenly tragedy takes hold of her and she loses both of her parents right in fron...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Alexandra Ariana Marino
Friday November 10, 2023
There is something almost freeing about the idea of death.
Like one day all the pain and suffering will be over and there will be no such thing as a 'to be continued' but rather a quick a sudden 'the end'.
Perhaps that's all I'm waiting for at this point... Sitting around and waiting for life to fade out of existence, either that or I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop so I will be motivated enough to pull that trigger on my own without the help of some other being.
I shouldn't have let Manny get close to me, and I should've pushed Dante away the second I got the chance. I never should have let Rebecca in on my own personal secrets and perhaps I should have ran away after the first time my uncle decided I was no long an eight year old little girl.
But the opposite seems to have happened.
I think that may be my ultimate problem when I love, I love too hard, when I fall, I hit the ground.
The more people that fill my life, the more people I end up loving, and the more alone I seem to be. Isn't that just ironic?
I want to always be there for everyone else when they need me, even if they hate me with every fiber of their being, I will never say no.
Truthfully I think I lost the motivation to exist a very long time ago.
I don't think I have anything to look forward to anymore, just a life filled with broken promises and shattered dreams, stupid lies and horrendous truths.
I just want to lay in bed and never get up.
Shut my eyes and never wake up.
I'm so tired of waking up.
The more steps forward I take the more I realize I may just be walking off a cliff and now I'm just waiting for the dramatic pause just to go plummeting down.
"Today is going to be a shitty day." Dante mumbles as he pulls into his parking spot.
"Why do you say that?" I questioned.
"Do you ever get that gut feeling that something is going to happen and you can't explain why but it makes you feel uneasy?"
All the damn time, "yes."
"Then that is why I say today is going to be a shitty day." he sighs, "let's get this shit over with."
