Theory Of Love

ch69

Finally, I discovered I was wrong.
"I am so sorry."
"It’s not your fault, it’s my fault for being a bastard, don’t you remember?"
"I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I left you here today."
"Uh, you turned off your phone. I was worried about you. I thought you were in danger".
"Everyone’s safe. I just didn’t want to see you."
"You’re too direct. What about Too and Bone? Don’t tell me they hate me too."
"No, Too specifically stayed with me, and Bone thought I would go, so hr wanted to create an opportunity for us to be alone to fix things, but in the end..."
"I’ve been abandoned at the train station. Thank God, thank You." The other guy starts to stick on his lips and seeing him like that I no longer feel sorry for him. Return my tears...
"Just think of this as a dream." That’s all I could do to comfort him.
"A good dream or a bad dream?"
"It must have been a nightmare, you waited so long.

"No, not having you around is my nightmare." 
I was caught off guard. Now I don’t even have anything to pinch, and I can’t turn around and run. I estimate that Kai will soon see through my shyness. Well, I actually have a goldfish brain. I was angry with him not long ago.
"Shy?
"No."
"That’s good, because I lied to you."
"Shit".
"But if I could get your love, I’d wait there with my black coffee and Red Bull until you showed up." Aren’t those two pieces of a night security guard?
"Didn’t you say you didn’t go anywhere?"
"I went to pee at that time, so I bought it. If I hadn’t had to pee so badly I would have stayed where I was, you know, I was really like an actor being secretly filmed by hidden cameras".
"Are you saying that to comfort me or to make fun of me?"
"I didn’t mean that, but on the next trip..."
"Hmm?"
"Let’s start again on our next trip."
"Uh."

"You said you wanted to make sci-fi movies your senior year, but I had no idea until I waited for you at the train station." The third bowl of noodles was also served. Kai took the toothpicks and started putting them in his mouth.
"What stupid ideas have you come up with again?" It’s better to talk to him than watch him eat.
"I want to tell the story of a man waiting for his lover in a train station. Although he does not know if that person will appear or when. But suddenly, the man was killed. When he woke up again, he was still on the platform. But they killed him and then he woke up again".
"Shit, that was <Edge of Tomorrow>".
"My goal is not to copy movies, but to criticize your behavior for keeping people waiting for a long time." 
"You are really bad."
"I also recorded some voice notes. Do you want to hear them?"
I don’t know how he will scold me. He was abandoned at the train station for a whole day. I should say something very heartbreaking. The more I saw that there were a dozen recordings, the more anxious I felt. Why do you scold me so much?
"Are you going to kill me? There are so many. "
"Everything is in my heart."
So I had to press the first recording while looking at the tall man who was eating noodles with his head bowed. Kai didn’t seem to pay much attention to me, so I started listening carefully to the recordings of his mobile phone.
First recording
[We have an appointment at 8:00. The train station is full of people. I will wait for you on platform 7. Come quickly, or you will miss the train. ]
Second recording
[9 o'clock, all their alarm clocks committed suicide? I’ve been waiting for them for two hours, but I haven’t seen anyone. There’s another boarding call over there. The train we’re taking will be leaving soon and they deserve to miss it. ]
Third recording
[Damn it! It’s 10 o'clock, where the hell are you? Didn’t your parents teach you to answer the phone? ]

"God damn it?"
"To relieve stress".

Fourth recording
[It’s 11 o'clock, haven’t you seen your shadow yet, or should I go home? ]

"Then why didn’t you come back?"
"Because I was afraid you’d be sad if you showed up and I wasn’t there." 
"So you’re not sad to wait like this?"
"If there should be someone who is sad, that person should be me."

Fifth recording
[It’s already noon, my stomach has been ringing non-stop, so I had to eat the sandwiches I brought. Are you okay? Did the car get a flat tire? I’m worried about you...]

Sixth recording

[One o'clock, I’m not afraid to miss the train now. I don’t care what train is leaving the station. I’m just afraid you won’t show up. ]

I’m still listening to a dozen of his recordings. Kai recorded them every hour. To record the situation and his mood at the time. I know clearly how painful it is to wait. I can also imagine how anxious and sad Kai must have been when he was abandoned at the train station.
At six in the afternoon, the recordings stopped.

"The cell phone died." I knew immediately.
"Really? You recorded until the phone died".
"No, I made a call before the phone ran out of battery."
"Didn’t you say you didn’t call me?"
"I called you once, but I found out you turned your cell phone off, so I didn’t call you back. I was afraid you’d get bored, so I started calling my classmates from the same class, but nobody knew where you’d gone. I was so afraid that you were in danger, you know? At the time, I was still angry that I was abandoned by you".

"..."
"But after that, I immediately worried about you. I was afraid it would have happened. I was afraid of everything, until one of my superiors told me they saw you and Too at the mall. I was finally relieved. And I consoled myself that you would still come, so I kept waiting".
"You were lying to yourself."
"Well, yeah, you know what I’d say if my cell phone still had the battery?"
"You should curse me. You can curse all you want." I guess that happened, because he knew the reason I didn’t come was because I didn’t want to, and not because of an accident or an emergency.
"Then listen to the eleventh recording."
"..."
"Third, fuck you!"
"..."
"While you are well, I will wait for you in the same place".
Then he smiled and held out his hand and touched my head, as if to console the child who did something wrong.
I know...
What he said about waiting does not refer to place in the sense of space, but in the emotional sense.

"Kai, do you know how I felt when Bone knocked on the door and said he didn’t go on the trip with you?"
"Did you think I deserved it?" I shook my head.
"I felt distressed."
"..."
"I kept saying in my heart that you should go home and not wait for me."
"But I still waited for you, because I knew that even though I couldn’t go on a trip with you, I could at least come home to you."
"You have expected more than I have when I walked towards you." 
"Uh huh~"
"Are you going to sleep in  my apartment tonight?" Not an invitation, just a question.
"I’ve been waiting for you for a long time, so let’s go back to your apartment after dinner. I’m dying of sleep". Kai, who used to eat slowly, is eating faster. As soon as we finished paying, we went straight to my little apartment where Bone and Too are waiting for us.