State house head cannons and one shot request are closed

;/

PA: ....Is...Is that real?

Florida: I mean, it feels pretty fucking real.... Please don't do that again.

———
New York : There's a demon sitting in your bathtub.

New Jersey: Oh that's just Bob, don't worry, he's chill.

—————

Ohio: I'm surprised you're with someone like Minnesota, they seem a little too sweet for your tastes.

Florida: Hm? I suppose on the surface they do seem rather sweet don't they?... But then again, so do some of the deadliest poisons.

————
Ohio: PA,sometimes talks in his sleep. It's quite adorable.

PA, asleep: Fight me, you ass. Square up. I think the fuck not-

—————

New York: I am a father.

New Mexico: It's a rat.

New York: HE'S MY BLOOD!

———

Cali, over the phone: Hey New Mex, what are you doing?

New Mexico: Oh, you know, just a little problem shooting.

Cali: Computer troubles? Anything I can help with?

New Mexico: Nah, I'm shooting my problems.

Cali:

New Mexico: *fires gun*

————

New York: [hands tied behind her back] You probably shouldn't kill me. I have two older brothers

Kidnapper: [laughs] You think I'm scared of two boys?

New York: Oh, that wasn't a plea for mercy. That was a warning.

Connie: [burst through the room by breaking down the door]

Mass: [wraps the kidnapper in cacti and vines]

New York: Told you.

————-

New Mexico: What? There's a force field? Why didn't you tell me?

New York: Well, because I wanted us to fail. OBVIOUSLY I DIDN'T KNOW!

———
Hero AU
New Mexico *accidentally drops the villain he was carrying*

New Mexico: Oops! Sorry!

New York: Don't apologize to him!

New Mexico: I mean...sorry I didn't drop you harder!

New York:...

New York: I'll take it.

————
Coco : What kind of spider is that?

Cali: A daddy long legs.

Coco: I mean, it's a good looking spider, but I wouldn't call it daddy.

Cali: ...

Cali: I'm sorry what?

——-

Nevada: I'm quick at math.

Virginia: Okay. What's 37 x 76?
Nevada: 24.

Connie:...that wasn't even close.

Nevada: But it was quick!

————-

Bye 👋🏻