The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 101

The mood at the cabin was somewhat subdued. Part of that stemmed from the mild to severe hangovers we were all afflicted with after overdoing it the night before, but there was another thing to blame, too.

Me.

I shouldn't have kept the dream from Shawn once we started dating and I shouldn't have told my best friends I'd shared it with him. One was a sin of omission while the other was an outright lie, and I'd been caught committing both in the same moment.

On the second evening, I popped a pan of vegetarian stuffed shells into the oven that my Uncle Sal made for us. Everyone else was in the living room watching a movie, but I stayed in the kitchen because I was feeling pretty low. I put on a happy face around my boyfriend and friends, though it was a charade. I hadn't needed my journal for months, but in that moment I really wanted to pour my heart out onto paper and was contemplating searching for a notepad when a voice sounded from behind me.

"You okay?"

I forced a smile and turned around. "Great! I might make the salad now since I've already missed part of Elf."

Shawn walked to the fridge and grabbed the lettuce. "I'll help. You shouldn't be responsible for dinner by yourself."

We worked side by side, though the only conversation we had was about what to put in the big wooden salad bowl. When it was done, he placed it in the fridge since the pasta needed to bake for thirty more minutes.

I assumed we'd go back out to the living room, so when he hopped up on the counter, I was confused. "No movie?"

"Lulu...what's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your poker face sucks, honey. It's obvious you're upset about this dream thing. You've been distant with me all day and you and Briya have hardly spoken. Maybe we should go upstairs and talk."

"I'm not mad at Briya, because she thought you knew," I said in a low voice. "It's the situation that has me down, but this isn't the time or place to get into it."

"You're making me anxious. If it's not a big deal like you said last night, why can't you fill me in? It was only a dream."

The uncomfortable pit in my stomach resurfaced. "Because I lied to the girls and I should have told you before. I'm embarrassed about how it came up and you're making it worse by pushing me. Last night you said you'd wait until we got back to Toronto, but now your hounding me to talk right this second."

"I wouldn't be pushing if you weren't acting so weird! You've been quiet all day. I thought maybe getting it off your chest might help," he asserted.

"It won't."

"Fine," he said as he got off the counter. "Let's go watch the movie."

I shook my head. "The food is going to be done soon. I'll just wait here."

Shawn took a couple steps towards me. "You're letting this ruin your weekend and that's impacting everyone else. It's definitely affecting my mood. Please come with me."

The last thing I wanted was to put a damper on anyone else's fun, so I did as he asked. I put on yet another fake smile and pretended to enjoy myself, even if the feeling of dread was unshakable. I wasn't completely sure what I was worried about, since it was just a dream, like he said. I didn't have control over what my brain did during the coma, and more importantly, it was now in the past.

Dinner was delicious, but I couldn't finish my portion. Shawn was more than happy to gobble up what I'd left on the plate. Briya and Fallon made brownies after the meal, and while they baked, we started a game of Monopoly. Instead of having drinks, we took edibles, and by the time the oven timer went off, we were all starting to feel pretty good. An hour later, after it fully hit, I was feeling a strange combination of relaxation and paranoia.