The One After [SHAWN MENDES]

Chapter 72

Shawn's expression turned anxious as he considered my question about whether he still loved Camila. "I wasn't expecting you to ask that after my confession about how I like you, but I guess it's a fair thing for you to want to know, especially if you're interested in me, too."

I gave him a warm smile. "I am very interested, and it makes me so happy that you just shared that, but I don't want to start anything without knowing where you stand with her." I was feeling really good about how post-coma me was handling this.

"Let's sit down," he suggested, gesturing to a nearby park bench. Once we were situated, he took a deep breath. "Things with Camila are definitely over, but I'd be lying if I told you that my feelings vanished when we broke up. She was my best friend and obsessive crush for years, and then when we got together, she was my whole world. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and she was my rock when I had problems. I honestly thought we'd get married one day."

The pain in his voice broke my heart. "I'm sorry you lost that."

"So am I, but it was for the best and I'm working hard at moving on. I am learning to rely on myself more, though it hasn't been easy and I've had some low points. I know I worried my fans last spring when I posted stuff online about how I was going through it. I've used music to help me, and touring has been a fantastic distraction, but I still miss the closeness and security I had with her."

"You probably shouldn't get involved with anyone until you're ready," I advised, even though it meant sacrificing a 'second' chance with him.

"That's the thing...I am ready. I've realized that what I had with her was beautiful, but if we were meant to be together, we would have worked things out. Things started to change on both sides, and we knew that it was time to let go. There was a big hole left in my life, but it's closing up. You're helping with that, Lucy. As I've gotten to know you, it's become clear that I can let someone else in."

I held a hand up. "I can't be a rebound. If I open myself up to you, there's a huge risk that I'll get hurt, and I'm not going to do that if this is about you trying on a new relationship for size just to see if you are truly over the last one."

His face was somber. "Fair enough. I promise you I've never considered you a potential rebound, but I hear what you're saying. What if we took things slow? I'm not going to be home regularly for two more months, so until then, we can continue getting to know each other."

"I really like that idea."

"I'm here for two more weeks and I'd love to see you while I have the chance. Are you open for dinner one day this week?" he asked.

I laughed. "My schedule is wide open. My social life is limited to my two best friends, my dad, and my family."

"I have plans with my parents and sister today, but maybe we could do dinner tomorrow."

"That works for me."

Shawn grinned. "It's a date. I'll make a reservation and text you the time I will pick you up."

We both stood up and continued walking down the path, our bodies a little closer than before. After a bit, his hand knocked mine accidentally, and then it happened again a minute later. "Sorry," he said.

"If you want to hold hands, it's fine," I teased, never thinking he'd actually do it. We were in public, after all. When his fingers laced with mine, I felt a thrill surge through my core.

Eventually we turned around and headed back the way we'd come. Shawn wanted to know all about my family since he'd met my uncles at the hospital the night of the attack. I felt like I was repeating myself because in my dream I'd told him about my grandma's two husbands and how she had two sons with each who were all in the food industry, but obviously this was all new information for him.