The Harper Brothers: College Life (Wattpad Version)

Can we skip to the good part?

Patrick

Instead of enjoying homecoming with Rowan, I spent all weekend wondering if the school would expel me. My dad and Ma arrived Sunday evening. It's never good when Ma comes with Dad because we're her babies, and she wants to rip off people's heads for hurting her babies. You don't want to know what she said about Camille.

Ma paced as she ranted, then stopped. "When I see that spiteful bitch, I will rip her tits off!"

"Tori, you can't walk into a school and threaten to rip off some old bag's tits," Dad said.

"Uh, Dad. The professor is around Ma's age," Romeo said.

Ma gave Romeo a sideways glance. "What?"

Val, Rafe, and I stepped back.

"Yeah. Didn't Val tell you?"

I swear to God that Ma's head spun around like the exorcist, and her body levitated.

Ma stalked towards Val. "Are you telling me that a barracuda is trying to seduce my son, Valentine Elias Harper?"

Aw, shit. Ma used Val's full name.

"Why are you mad at me? I'm not the one encouraging a stupid, over-the-hill, old hag to seduce Pat," Val said.

"Valentine," Dad said.

Val glanced at Dad.

"Now would be an excellent time to stop talking before your mother beats you. And when she does, I'll laugh."

Val rolled his eyes.

"Okay, now that we know your mother declared war on a crazy bitch posing as a professor, we need to explain to the Dean what happened. Because I'm sure the professor doesn't understand the concept of truth," Dad said.

No shit. This crazy bitch is trying to get me expelled because I rejected her desperate ass. Who knows what she accused me of doing? Don't answer that because I'm sure it was all bullshit.

"Tomorrow, we are going down to the Dean's office and straighten this mess out. If that doesn't work, then I'll kick their asses!" Ma marched upstairs.

Dad blew air past his lips, shook his head, and followed Ma upstairs. Let me explain about our ma. We would do anything for her. The sun rises and sets on her where it concerns us. It doesn't matter how much we screw up. She loves us. Even when Dad wants to beat the hell out of us, she has threatened to beat the hell out of him. Since Dad loves Ma, he backs down.

Good luck, Professor Barracuda. You'll need it.

*******
The next day, my parents accompanied me to the Dean's office. They barred my brothers from stepping foot anywhere near the Dean's office. I don't blame them. Have you met my brothers?

After speaking to the secretary, she led us to another room with tables and chairs. Oh, look. Professor desperation is waiting for us.

The Dean strolled towards us. "Hello, Patrick."

"Hey, Dean Winthrop. I want you to meet my parents."

The Dean shook my parent's hands. "I'm sorry that you had to make this trip."

"We came to clear up any misunderstanding," Dad told the Dean.

Ma zeroed in on the professor and narrowed her eyes. "I should have known."

The Dean, Dad, and I glanced at each other.

"Known what?" Dad asked Ma.