Tempest || l.s. ✓

Chapter 36

They were sat on the sofa when Louis noticed it.

"Haz..." He frowned, eyes fixed on Harry's leg.

"Yeah?" Harry looked up from his book.

"You're bleeding. On your thigh." Harry looked back down and sure enough a small patch of blood was soaking the fabric of his joggers.

"Shit, um, well that's not happened before." He muttered to himself before announcing a little louder, "I'm going to go and sort it out."

"Yeah," Louis nodded, clearing his throat, "okay. Um, and can I talk to you when you're back down?"

Harry eyed him warily but gave a small nod as he scurried off. Harry finally returned with a new pair of joggers on.

"Everything okay with it?"

"Yeah, yeah." He nodded, looking a little awkward.

"Okay..." Louis sighed, "may as well get it over with. I know not all suicidal people hurt themselves-"

Harry winced, curling in on himself.

"And not all people who hurt themselves necessarily want to die, but like-"

"I don't want to do this." Harry interrupted. "I know where this is going and I don't want to do this."

"H, please?" Louis gulped. That had definitely confirmed his suspicions.

"What?" He brought his knees up to his chest, looking down at his feet.

"How long have you been doing it?"

"Who said I cut myself?"

"Harry, you just-"

"Fine. Yes, I fucking cut myself. Make fun of me all you like. I know it's stupid, and I know it's pathetic. Whatever." He snapped.

"No, Harry, god no. I'm not bringing this up to ridicule you. I'm bringing it up because I'm worried." Louis moved to sit next to him, taking one of Harry's hands.

"I don't do it that often." He murmured, "just like, when I don't know what else to do. I used to do it and then I stopped but it helps. It's not a regular thing anymore though."

"How often?"

"I don't know, maybe 3, 4 times a week. More if it's a worse week, less if it's a better week." He admitted, continuing to avoid eye contact. "Lou, I know you're worried about me and shit but there's nothing you can do. I'm leaving within a couple of days, I won't be able to stop in that time and you're not going to be able to stop me when I'm at home."

"But I need to know that you're trying to stop."

"I am." He mumbled, "you know the other night when I was really um, you know, when my depression was bad, I cut myself that day but I went to your room so I didn't again. I'm trying."

"I hope you know how proud I am of you." Louis squeezed his hand. "Endlessly proud."

"Thank you." Harry croaked.

"Will you call me if you feel the need?"

"Not every time but yeah. But sometimes I can't bring myself to talk to people."

"Darling, as long as you're trying your best it's okay. You're doing all you can and that's what matters." Louis tugged him in for a hug. "You're so bloody strong."

//

"I'm all packed." Harry announced with a sigh as he slumped down at the table, gratefully accepting the cup of tea Louis offered him.