Chapter 33

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Louis had been thinking about the blanket non-stop.

Perhaps it wasn't something to pay to much attention to, but it was all these little clues adding up.

How Harry scratches at his thighs when he's anxious, how he'd sometimes wince when the cats jumped on his lap, and how when he had had shorts on he had made sure to keep his thighs covered.

Of course Louis knew that not everybody who hurt themselves was suicidal, and not everyone who wanted to kill themselves hurt themselves. But it was still an underlying factor.

He wanted to talk to Harry about it. But he felt without anything solid to base it off there was no point. Harry would shut him out and Louis would be no closer to helping him.

He was broken from his thoughts as he heard the piano start to ring out from the house. Okay, so there was either a ghost...or a ghost? Zayn couldn't play, Harry said he couldn't, and as far as Louis was aware the cats couldn't.

Creeping downstairs, Louis poked his head around the door. Sat on the piano stall was Harry in a white blouse and loose brown trousers.

His fingers danced across the keys, playing an unfamiliar melody as he sung along quietly.

Louis watched from the doorway, not wanting to disturb Harry but not being able to leave.

As the song came to a stop Louis cleared his throat lightly. Harry whipped around, looking a little guilty.

"Thought you said you couldn't play?" Louis raised an eyebrow.

"I may have told a small fib." Harry muttered, looking at the ground.

"A small fib? You play like a fucking angel."

Harry blushed at that.

"Why'd you say you couldn't play?"

"Because it was something I like to keep for myself. You know? It was something I could enjoy without there being a chance of it being ruined."

"Like painting?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." Louis suddenly felt guilty for intruding.

"It's fine." Harry shook his head and have a small shrug. "I don't mind sharing it with you."

"You don't?"

"No. I lied at first because I didn't know you, but I trust you now." He admitted quietly.

Louis smiled at him, sitting down on the stool. "May I?"

"What? Together?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Yeah."

"Okay." He nodded, "what would you like to play?"

"Up to you."

Harry gestured to the handwritten sheet music and Louis nodded.

He began to play the lower line, Harry playing the top one, beginning to hum quietly. Louis sat silently, just enjoying Harry's presence and beautiful voice. Their arms were pressed against eachother, warm and comforting.

"Did you write this? It's beautiful."

"Yeah." Harry nodded in confirmation as they came to the end. He pointed to the top of the sheet, where the song title was written in small cursive letters.

'Falling'.

"Has this song got lyrics?"

"It does, but I'm not sure anyone will ever see them or hear them. They're personal."

Louis nodded in understanding. "How many songs have you written?"

"Quite a few." He handed the a journal to Louis. "That's all the music notes for them, the lyrics are in a different one so you're free to look through this one."

Louis flicked through the book, looking at the titles- 'Liability', 'If I Could Fly', 'Meet Me in the Hallway', 'From the Dining Table', 'Don't Let Me Go', 'it's time to go' , 'Sign of the Times'. All of these sounded incredibly sad, and Louis wanted to read the lyrics just so he could be inside Harry's mind and find a way to help him. "What's your most recent one?"

"'Adore You' and 'She'. Wrote them the other day."

Okay, those ones didn't sound as sad. Hopefully.

"Louis! I'm going out on the boat!" Zayn shouted through the house, "where are the keys?"

"My boat Zayn! It's my boat. The keys are where they always are."

"Where's that?"

"The thingy."

"The what?"

"The thingy!"

"You have a boat?" Harry asked in surprise.

"I do have a boat." Louis confirmed.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a boat?"

"Umm...I have no idea. I thought I did to be honest."

"Can we go in it before I leave?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Of course we can. When are you going home?"

"I have to soon. Niall and Liam really want to see me. I mean, I've got to go back at some point."

"Yeah." Louis sighed, "I expect they really miss you. What are you going to do when you get back?"

"About what?"

"Everything. Like, what are you going to do in life?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, "no fucking clue. I'm gonna figure it out as I go along."

"Found them!" Zayn yelled.

"Zayn, you don't have to shout. I'm right here. I'm very glad you found the keys."

"Me too. It's hard to drive a boat that needs keys without the keys." Zayn stated, making Louis chuckle.

"Really? I would never have guessed." Louis deadpanned.

"Yeah, it's pretty difficult. Trust me, I've tried it."

//

"Lou, I just got off the phone with Niall and Liam. Um, I think I'm going back next week."

"Next week?" Louis frowned, his stomach turning a little.

"Yeah." Harry forced a small smile.

"That's so soon." Louis pouted.

"I know. But like, I've not been back in a while. And I kind of just left. I don't know, I feel bad."

"Why don't you ever really call it home?"

"Oh, um, I just don't think of it as home to be honest. I don't know." He shrugged. "Like everything I know really is there, but it just doesn't feel like home."

"Have you ever had anywhere that feels like home?"

"Yeah. I have now."

"Where to?"

"Here." Harry admitted quietly. "I just feel comfortable here. Everyone's really lovely, well most people. I prefer it to the city."

"I wish you didn't have to go back."

"I know. Me neither."

"Can you stay?" Louis put his hands together in a begging position.

Harry shook his head. "I have to go. I've got to talk to Niall and Liam. And probably Gemma. I'll visit you though, I promise."

"And I promise I'll visit you. Please don't ever lose contact with me."

"I won't."

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