Tempest || l.s. ✓

Chapter 22

As soon as they arrived home Harry locked himself in his room.

Louis tried to get him to open the door, scared of what Harry might do but all he got was a promise of later.

With Harry's letter in his hands he sat on the outside of Harry's door and began to read through.

Dear Louis,

When you're reading this I probably won't be here anymore. At least, I won't be by the time you reach me so please don't bother yourself. I'll have been on the cliffs by the way, you know the ones where we first went? I'm sorry if this letter feels insensitive, I don't quite know how to go about it. But tell the police or coastguard or whoever you call that's where my body will be.

I just wanted to thank you. For being here. For being kind to me and treating me how people should be treated. I don't want you to follow me, this is the reason I came to the island. I needed somewhere quiet and somewhere I knew nobody to kill myself. Can you imagine if I did it at home? Everybody would talk. This is the reason why I didn't want to get close with you or Barbara or anyone (I don't know if you knew I didn't want to). I couldn't stand hurting anybody else.

I've packed my stuff. It's all in the bags by my door. Next to it are instructions for where to send it. I've left money for the postage so I hope it's not too much of a bother. There are a few notes for people as well. I have already written the addresses on the envelopes.

I know we've not known eachother long but I expect you're wondering why I'm doing this. Or done this. I don't know. Anyway, my life has been a shitshow for a long time now, and everything I do fucks something else up. I've had enough of being hurt and hurting others. It's not something anybody should ever have to go through, but I have and I can't take it any longer. I know I shouldn't have stayed this long but I was trying to muster up the courage. I'm sorry if I was a nuisance- at least you're rid of me now haha. I hope you like the painting I gave you. It's what I've been working on.

Again, thank you so much for everything you have done Louis. Thank you. Cuddle the cats for me.

-Harry xx

Louis rested his head against the door, placing the letter down as he silently cried. Harry didn't deserve to feel like this. Harry deserved the fucking world, and Louis wanted to make sure he got that.

"Harry...please open the door?"

Louis was surprised as he heard muffled footsteps approach the door and shuffled away from it as Harry unlocked it.

Harry just looked at him with a slightly blank expression and Louis stood up to hug him.

"Please don't leave." Louis immediately murmured, "please don't."

Harry just sighed, "I just don't wanna be here."

"I'm going to make sure you enjoy life again."

"How?"

"Just trust me, yeah? Please. Let me."

"I-I...okay, I mean, um, okay. I don't-I..." Harry stammered before looking down as his eyes filled with tears.

This wasn't meant to happen. By now Harry should be dead. Harry should be just a memory.

"It's okay love. I've got you." Louis rubbed Harry's back. "We're going to get through this."

"Louis, this is my thing to get through. You don't have to "

"I want to. I don't want you going through this alone anymore. I don't want you to think that the best way out is to end it like that."

"But I can't fucking do this anymore. I don't want to go home. I don't want to live like this."

"Don't go home." Louis spoke. "Don't. You're not happy there."

"But I can't just run away."

"It's not running away. It's taking care of yourself. Don't put yourself into situations you're not comfortable with. But, I think you should contact Gemma and Liam and Niall."

Harry shook his head, his lip continuing to tremble.

"Look, I'm not saying you have to. And definitely not now. But I think it would be a good idea."

Harry just nuzzled in closer, holding Louis tightly and for once he didn't care that he was vulnerable.

Louis let go with one arm and guided Harry to the bed. Harry sat down on the side where the pillow was dipped in and Louis say on the other side.

"You know, if you wanna talk to me about anything you can. I know I already know a fair bit and I know how hard it can be to open up but I promise you, I will never judge you. Do you wanna cuddle a bit?"

"I don't get it." Harry started, "I'm not really very good at physical contact with people. Not even with Ni or Liam or Gemma. But with you I just feel comfortable and I don't know why." Harry's voice was quiet and rough.

Louis's heart hurt for Harry. He could never imagine being through what Harry had been through, and though Harry was certain he was weak, Louis knew he was strong.

"Don't talk if you don't want to love. But you know I'm up for cuddles whenever. I'm a big cuddler and cuddles help when you're feeling like shit."

"I like cuddles too. Just only with certain people." Harry murmured, his eyes still glistening.

His voice was so fragile and Louis just wanted to bundle him up and keep him safe from the world.

"So you'll cuddle with me?"

"Yes...please."

Harry shuffled closer and leaned against Louis, inhaling the comforting scent and closing his eyes.

"Do you think I'm a freak?"

"Obviously not." Louis stated.

"Why not?"

"Because you're not a freak. You're hurting and you want a way out."

"I-I came here to do it. But when you know, when I was stood there I was so scared and I didn't know if I could go through with it. But I couldn't back out, and then when you got there I was kind of thankful. But at the same time I wasn't because you were making it harder to convince myself. And I'm so fucking confused."

"Are you confused because you don't know if you want to live or not?"

"Yeah...I've wanted to just...not be here, you know what I mean, for a long time. I'd made up my mind and I still don't really want to but I dunno. It's difficult."

"Stay." Louis murmured. "Just stay."