Chapter 26

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"Come on." Louis tried to lead them to the other room but Harry took one step forward and his knees gave way.

Louis just lowered them both to the floor, where Harry was curled up on his knees, his face pressed against Louis's chest. Louis kept his arms around Harry, hushing him quietly.

Harry bunched up Louis's jumper in his hands. It felt as if everything was ripping him apart from the inside and he was doing his best to hold on.

Louis tangled a hand back in Harry's hair, massaging his scalp soothingly and resting his lips upon the top of Harry's head. "Everything's going to be fine."

"N-no-" He cried, "'s not-"

"It is darling. Everything will be alright. We'll get through this one day at a time."

"I don't wanna do this. I-I can't do this-I, I can't-"

"Yes you can. I believe in you. Stop trying to talk love, we'll talk when you've calmed down. Jesus, H."

Harry stayed still as Louis shuffled forwards so that they were pressed more closely together.

Louis was sure that just his presence was enough to help calm Harry as when Louis lifted an arm for a second Harry's whimpers seemed to grow louder. Louis immediately placed his arm back around Harry and he seemed to relax a little.

Though Harry didn't often show it, Louis could tell that Harry was big on physical contact- it just had to he with someone he trusted. Harry never asked for hugs, but when Louis offered he easily accepted. When Harry was upset it seemed as though one of the only things to help calm him down was for Louis to let him know he was there. When they were walking Harry would often let his arm or hand brush against Louis's.

"Harry, can you hear me? Are you okay?" Louis murmured as Harry shook, sobs escaping one after another.

Harry gave the smallest of nods- so small that Louis barely noticed, but Louis did and he continued to play with Harry's hair.

Eventually Harry seemed to be calming down, his breaths becoming less uneven and less shallow and his sobs dying to the occasional whimper.

"Let's go to bed."

"N-no-" Harry started but cut himself off.

"No what?" Louis asked softly, encouraging him to continue.

"Don't wanna be left alone." He admitted.

"I won't leave you if you don't want me to. Both mine and your beds are doubles."

Harry gave a small nod, finally looking up through his eyelashes at Louis.

Harry's eyes were rimmed red, the once white parts even redder, and the green stood out brightly.

His eyelashes were thick and dark, with tear tracks down his face. His lips were red and puffy, and his cheeks rosy. All in all Harry was a pretty crier.

Louis lifted both hands to Harry's face, cradling it gently and wiping the stray tears with his thumbs.

"Everything will be okay." Louis reassured one more time, before helping Harry up and leading the pair upstairs.

//

"I need to get ready for bed." Harry murmured, his voice croaky.

"Me too. We'll both get ready and we can sleep in my room tonight. Yeah?"

"Yeah." Harry agreed. This is what he wanted, yet he was so so scared that Louis didn't. "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Of course it is. We slept together- that sounds weird- but we slept together last night. I couldn't give two shits, if you want me to of course I will."

"Okay. Thank you." Harry wasn't quite sure what else to say.

Harry wandered off to his room, Louis to his, each of them getting ready for bed.

Though Harry's routine involved a little more than Louis's did- relief and blood.

After 20 minutes Harry was stood outside Louis's door, jumper sleeves pulled over his hands and his head dropped to the ground.

His thighs were stinging, but it felt good. All the anxiety that had built up had been released, and though Harry was scared of getting back into the habit and not being able to stop, he reassured himself that it wouldn't happen religiously.

Louis opened the door, smiling softly at Harry. He pushed the door open, standing aside as Harry walked in, looking around.

Harry hadn't seen Louis's bedroom before, but it was just as Harry had expected. A fireplace was against one wall, a couple of photo frames on top. The bed was against the wall next to it, a blue and white striped duvet cover lay upon it, accompanied by a quilt and a blue, white and orange checkered blanket.

On one of the bedside tables sat a lamp and a book, on the other sat an assortment of taper candles- twisted and shaped, along with a jewellery tray.

Harry hadn't yet seen Louis wear any jewellery, but in the tray were a few gold rings- some plain and some with stones and patterns.

"You never wear rings." Harry stated quietly, "why not?"

"I dunno." Louis shrugged, "I mean, I just don't like the feeling all that much and I'm not sure they suit me."

"I think you should wear them."

"Maybe I will." Louis shrugged again.

Harry continued to look around. A fluffy cream rug stretched across the wooden floorboards and Harry only then noticed the matching cushions.

But Harry's favourite part of the room by far was the built-in bookcase that stretched from the ceiling to the floor, packed with books and accompanied by two armchairs carefully draped with matching blankets. In between the two was a coffee table with two mugs of steaming hot chocolate which Harry assumed Louis had only just made.

"You like it?" Louis chuckled, bringing Harry out of his trance.

"Yeah...I love it. It's really homely."

Louis nodded proudly. "Not going to lie, I'm jealous of my own house."

Harry cracked a smile at that, curling up in an armchair as Louis did the same.

"Can the cats sleep in here tonight?"

"Why not." Louis smiled, "let's have a big old sleepover. It'll be lovely."

"Do the cats go anywhere else? Or is it just you who've stolen them?"

"Just me." He grinned cheekily. "I'll go fetch them. Mind you don't scold yourself on the hot chocs. It's hot."

Harry nodded, lifting the mug to his mouth and blowing gently as Louis went to get the cats.


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